K in hospital again

[Tink]

thanks, guys.
i just wanted to check in and let you know we are both okay..just an adjustment period happening.
things have actually been very busy doing home health care and communicating with the various specialists involved.
i'm not sure if i already mentioned this but the first time they did surgery they sent biopsies of his heart to the lab and confirmed he has giant cell arteritis (they previously thought it was takayasu's arteritis, slightly different).
well, they have never seen this autoimmune disease in this county and are even more intrigued that it was confirmed in a 38 year old.
hence all the specialists. which is great but also a little overwhelming and confusing.
but i can't complain. he's home and progressing slowly.
ironically, now that i am home in my own bed i am having trouble sleeping. i think my mind is still processing all that has gone in the last month or so. i've been in survival mode for so many weeks that i've not really allowed everything to sink in because while it was all happening there really wasn't time to.
but we are doing well. it is just a bit different around here and i'm sure it'll settle down in time. i probably was so focused on getting back home because i thought that would make things "normal" but now i'm realizing that home does not equal normal.
i hope that doesn't sound like i'm complaining. i just kind of needed to get that off my chest. don't get me wrong, i'm very thankful we got to where we are and i know it could have been worse. the dust just needs to settle in my brain is all.

[yola]

I know what you mean about the normal not being normal. I was in hospital, very ill for 2 weeks in 1995. But I was 200 miles from home - and all I wanted was to get home. However until I had recovered in order to function fully around the home it kind of didn't feel right; having people do things for me and not be eating properly or having the strength to do much really threw me as I didn't interact with my environment as I was used to doing previously.

As K recovers and the normal dynamic of your home returns I'm sure familiarity and normality will be restored bit by bit.

[dandysmom]

Tink, it's possible you might have a slight case of PTSD ...doesn't just happen to combat vets, anyone who's been thru a a severe highly stressful trauma can exhibit the signs. And I think that pretty well describes what you've been thru in this horrifying episode. So I think it's perfectly natural to experience what you're feeling now. I think it's great that you can share this with us; I do think it helps. I'm certainly no psychiatrist but am just offering up my ideas on the subject, for what they're worth. Hang in there, it's going to get better, slowly but surely; you've been a tower of strength throughout it. XXXX

[calismum]

I'm sure that for every step K takes in his recovery you will both be a step closer to 'normality'. At the moment it must all seem so unreal to you.

Please look after yourself as well as K, you too have been through loads and it will have had an effect on you, whether you realise it or not.

[Tink]

thanks for all the kind feedback, everyone. it's appreciated.
i have a pic again. this time it is not so graphic it is just his chest all purdy and stapled up and put back together (yay!). i never knew how i could take something for granted like having my man's chest in one piece but it is a huge relief not to see his insides anymore!
i'll post it as a link because although i don't find it graphic maybe some people are sensitive and i don't want to offend anyone.

http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/m...90721_3302.jpg

he has lost about an inch of his chest so that's why his tattoos are closer together now. he's also lost about 30 pounds in the last month..he blames it on hospital food

[Mags]

Goodness Tink, that really brings it home how much work they had to do on K..... I am very surprised that you are able to have him back home with you so soon after that.
The surgeons have made a very neat job of it, haven't they?

I would think it will be a long road before he is fully fit but he is lucky to have your wonderful support and care to help him through it. The important thing is not to rush things too quickly, he needs all the rest he can get to heal and rebuild his strength.

Make sure you don't neglect yourself, you too need your rest and strength

I think you will come out of this a stronger and more confident person, Tink. You have found an inner strength throughout K's illness and should be proud of yourself.

Lots of good wishes to you both ((((hugs)))) xx

[dandysmom]

I can only echo what Mags has said so eloquently!

[angieh]

Ditto from me Tink and

[calismum]

and me.... ((((hugs))))

[Tink]

well his picc line accidentally came out. that pump gives antibiotics into his bloodstream every 4 hours..now it's gone.
the after hours home health nurse told me to take him to ER for a new one.
he refuses to go. says it can wait till tomorrow.
i sure hope so.
frustrated. so very frustrated, upset, and worried.
if this thing doesn't kill him, i just might do it myself.
sorry. but i'm livid right now.