Toffee Times

[Hreow]

My boss has made me post this ego-flattering photo of Brave Sir Toffee besting the Beast of Maude to make up for any photos where His Nibs has been portrayed as snuggling up to the enemy.

I think it is Toffee-the-python playing at devouring his latest "snack". ^^ He couldn't quite swallow a whole dog though. Albus didn't even seem to notice.

Here is Himself recreating his kittenhood hood where he claims to have been living in a box on the street. I've seen the box he started out in, in a kittening-room with all mod cons and hot-and-cold running slaves but I get told off for giggling. ^.^

They chased each other through the garden all of Saturday, destroying all in their path. This is apparently "helping us with the harvest" though I am unsure of the exact benefit for either the veggie-eaters in the family or the survivability of the garden.

[angieh]

Young Master is a good story-teller then? But of course. Please tell him that I am impressed with his attempt to swallow a whole dog in one go. Does he do correspondence courses? My Pip could do with instruction.

(I have to admit to smiling when I saw that you had added to Toffee's Thread - always anticipate something good - no pressure of course Toffee!)

[Hreow]

I can give you Toffee's guide to stretching, which may be a good thing if Pip will be attempting to swallow dogs whole?

Now before we set off on another adventure, a short guide to stretching. Very important to do before chasing bugblatter beasts or serious napping.
Are you paying attention? You there in the back as well?

Then we will begin. Stretch as far as you can with the front paws curled as if you were hanging from the wire of a pair of circular needles being used to knit, say, a pair of socks. Note the back legs crossed lightly at the heel:

Then we move to the "paddle". Stretch one of your front legs up and press the other down like so:

Alternate legs until you get bored. Move to an upness somewhere and do the "casually show the family jewels as you clean the back of a thigh". You're now bending the spine and the legs the opposite direction which is good for stretching antagonist muscle groups:

For the next exercise we need a partner. Wind both front paws firmly around his nose. Note the concave line of the back, the gentle sideways s-curve of the spine and the shoulders:

Haul yourself up to level with the nose, the adventurous kitty will use the dog's jaw for an extra springy lift. Biting back is optional at this point:

Then have your partner step to one side and lift his nose which relieves pressure all along the backbone as it stretches every last vertebrae. On advanced level you now move your grip up to the doggy forehead.

And now you are limber enough to curl up in a bag and sleep (or go on to swallow the dog ^^).

Get your two-legged slaves to elevate the bag for a nice view when you wake up.

Now go away and let me sleep. It's serious business at my level and concentration is vital. Shoo!

[angieh]

Thanks Young Master - an enlightening lesson!

[dandysmom]

Absolutely super photo series and captions! Young Toffee is very skilled for such a tender age, I am quite impressed!

I also start smiling when I see an addition to this thread! Keep them coming.

[Hreow]

We will do our best.

[alexgirl73]

Just love reading these updates of him who must be obeyed Superb photos as always,and as I missed his show exploits, a big well done on his lovely ribbons

[Hreow]

Oi! Since when do I address my fans through bars?

Here I am again. No brother to play with but Grandad is down the other end of the row. I've hissed at him in person when she-of-the-lead-end took me down there to say hello to my old family. Rover's brother and sister were in pens behind mine. I wasn't allowed to follow sotle when she went over there to wish them well so I couldn't hiss at them.

I got fluttery bits again. They were still not any good to eat. One of the stewards said that the quality of the Foreign kittens was very high at the show. Of course it was, **I** was there.

Some purple flutteries for the fans. We didn't get anywhere near those this time. This is good, we get to go home to more food, dog and sleeps quicker without.

PuRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzPuRrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRR RRRRRrrrrzzzZZZZZZzzzZZZZzzzz.

Unh? You woke me for what?

And then there was FOOOOOD!

I had seconds. It was good food.

[Mags]

Oh! well done Toffee, I can see you take it all in your stride!

Great pics and captions, Hreow!

[dandysmom]

More chronicles, I love, love love them! Such a handsome chap, and he does tell an interesting story; loved the hissing at Grandpa!