How do you tell someone...

[angieh]

I must just say that we shouldn't assume that a person is any more or less than they present themselves to be. Although information is here on the net for everyone to access if they want to, some people (fewer nowadays I admit) don't want to or can't and need supportive information and education.

I am very much of the mind that you shouldn't beat someone up before you know the facts of the matter. I think Az said above that that "most people do not know of the plight of animals in welfare until they've become a cat (or dog) lover themselves". People like me have thrown away leaflets that inform but are too distressing to look at or read.

[Phoenix]

I try to be "good cop" when I'm talking to someone on Catsey

I know where you're coming from Az, though sometimes people do need the proverbial "kick up the rear" to get their pet's neutered I've seen too many kittens coming in because people have either abandoned a pregnant cat or dumped the kittens

[angieh]

You see, now that is unforgiveable in my book - to abandon or dump animals ............................... but I don't suppose anyone would admit to doing that on this sort of forum.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by angieh

You see, now that is unforgiveable in my book - to abandon or dump animals ............................... but I don't suppose anyone would admit to doing that on this sort of forum.

There's not many people who would admit to it to be honest, but I know two cases ikn the homing centre at the moment where the girls were dumped while pregnant and had to give birth in a shed or something

[HappyKatz]

Great thread Az I just wish people would spay & neuter their pets. It does wonders for them. It feels so great knowing that your pet is spayed or neutered. Doing that is just one less thing to worry about. For us & our pets! It is such a good thing to do

[Kim]

I know where you are coming from Az, but I think in this instance that Dawn is right. Sometimes pussyfooting around just does not get the message across. Hopefully this lady will know think twice about her actions.

[yola]

I was going to start a thread along a similar vein . . . but mine was going to ask whether more can be achieved by villifying and 'shouting' at a person or by calmly advising? After all, surely the objective is to get the person 'on side'? I'm going to digress a little from the question you pose Az - apologies for this.

My thinking is that the way to do get people to stop and think and assess their own actions is by calm, logical discussion; by holding up a mirror to their actions. This doesn't have to be sycophantic in any way at all, it can be clear, to the point and if necessary use case studies (in as much graphic detail as one sees fit to use) to illustrate an arguement.

Surely insulting someone, casting doubt on their affection for their pet/s etc etc is only going to upset, annoy or anger people who might genuinely NOT know about animal welfare. The result may end up being counter-productive inasmuch as they 'stick two fingers up' and carry on how they were before. Surely the way to ensure they understand and care enough in the future is by educating in a non-patronising and non-assumptive manner.

I don't doubt anyone's passion for the welfare of animals here - but putting my CP PR hat on; if I were to write press releases in a confrontational, abrupt and accusatory manner would they be published? If I insulted radio listeners during interviews would that endear them to CP and the cause I was trying to promote? No - and this would be completely counter-productive to what I was trying to achieve - to get people to listen to me and act on what I'm asking them to do.

And that is what we are doing by continuing to answer people who come here for advice (and I mean genuine people rather than trolls) - we're promoting an idea which is a bloody good one for all cats out there. We can be honest and plain speaking but this can be done in a way that wins over those who aren't as committed to the spay-neuter message.

It doesn't mean we are soft or compromising the way we feel about this important issue it simply means we are (ultimately) manipulating people to our way of thinking . . . and winning for the benefit of all those unwanted cats out there.

[EmmaG]

Well I think there is no wrong or right answer here. Some people will listen to the softly softly approach and others - possibly with more balls - will actually listen to a harsh telling off and it would actually make them realise the consequence of their actions.

Personally I applaud people like Dawn and Elaine, they have the guts to say what they think, sometimes perhaps it is harsh, but so is life. I think part of the reason why the world is like it is, is because people have got too politically correct and we pussy foot around people too much. We all don't like the harsh reality of some of our actions but sometimes it needs to be told like that.

Yola I can understand where you are coming from, but don't you think sometimes we need "shock" tactics to make people sit up and listen, I am sure we all turn off the TV when we see charity ads, personally I find them much the same and not very hard hitting, but perhaps that is just me.

[angieh]

As usual Yola puts everything I'd like to say in a calm and authoritative way. There are people who genuinely don't know and although I know ignorance is no defence, everyone has to start somewhere. We can't start from the standpoint that if people ask for help or information they get blasted - that does no good at all IMO. People will be making up stories next in order to find out stuff. If someone had said "I took in a little stray and found it to be pregnant, how should I care for her?" they get a different response entirely ........ that's great, but if people choose to tell the truth?

[yola]

I in no way at all disagree with the sentiments Elaine, Dawn, Kelly etc are putting across - I'm 100% with them on what they are saying - for me it's about HOW it's said. I am convinced that if someone feels they are being attacked verbally - even though they will probably know they deserve it - they will be less likely to respond positively. They will build up justification in their own minds for continuing in the way they have to date.

Some may make the necessary changes but ask yourselves this - if someone you didn't know starting telling you how to do things in what you perceive to be a blunt, rude and personally insulting manner how would you react? You'd walk away because their arguement would have no credibility in your eyes.

I'm no sandal-wearing liberal advocating a softly-softly approach and patting people on the head with a gentle telling off. I'm suggesting a clear, strong and if you like 'professional' message such as those communicated by CP and other charities which uses a blend of emotional blackmail, guilt, authority and mild/moderate chastisement.

We have an opportunity here which goes far beyond the 30 seconds a charity has to put across it's message on a TV ad. We have the chance to engage with these people directly and we will only get one opportunity to do so. If we scare them off/pi$$ them off we will ultimately have lost.