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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
25-07-2008, 04:09 PM   #11

Re: OH problems again


I've never been in a relationship with a controlling person, but Jac and Donna have; listen to what they say, please.....you do not, and haven't for a long while, sound happy.



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Kazz's Avatar
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Cats owned: Non at the moment
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 16,941
25-07-2008, 09:28 PM   #12

Re: OH problems again


Other than that sit down and write out what you want to change and what you want to do and what makes you happy....and unhappy then work out if there is a common denominator and if there is what can you do about it.....then try going out for a drink...???somewhere and explaining you are unhappy or want to do things..without having to get persmission....you may find your OH is in a similar frame of mind....and all you need to do is air the feelings...and maybe relationship councilling could work...?

Above all remember why you got together and you may be able to step into a different "chapter of the relationship" one each of you is happy with.



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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
25-07-2008, 09:33 PM   #13

Re: OH problems again


As always, very sound, well thought out advice from Kazz.........



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Elaine's Avatar
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Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
25-07-2008, 09:38 PM   #14

Re: OH problems again


I have nothing more to add to what others have said other than, I wish you all the very best, what ever the outcome. Dont let life and love pass you by xxx



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yola's Avatar
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Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
25-07-2008, 09:48 PM   #15

Re: OH problems again


Jane, can I ask . . . are you an impetuous type? Will you see something and just go and get it/do it/say it, regardless? Because I'm like that and it frustrates the heck out of my OH because he's always having to put the brakes on me. Not just in the case of spending (mostly) but also due to my rather gobby tendencies

Is your OH trying to temper that by 'putting the brakes on' and are you misinterpreting it as 'control'?

It's just a thought and not a criticism . . . I'm really using myself as a yardstick and putting it forward as a suggestion.



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Kazz's Avatar
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Cats owned: Non at the moment
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Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 16,941
25-07-2008, 09:53 PM   #16

Re: OH problems again


Good point there Yola......I do that I think Oh I'll have that then when I think about it not such a good idea....I learnt to brake myself



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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
25-07-2008, 09:57 PM   #17

Re: OH problems again


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazz
....I learnt to brake myself
Good on you Karen. I haven't yet . . . and probably won't



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