Cats in the Bedroom at Night

[dandysmom]

I sympathize, Meep, but I couldn't do it. And yes, because of the fear that they would feel rejected and unloved. Foolish, perhaps, but I've always had my cats sleep with me and sometimes find it difficult to drop off if said cat hasn't come up to bed for some reason. But living alone I don't have the "privacy required" situation... If you can tough it out till they (Darcy mainly) adjusts it should be OK, but will be a hard week or so....good luck!

[Tina]

We've always let our cats have free run of the house, and they do tend to take up a lot of space on the bed! I can understand the wish to have the bed to yourselves!

When Mouse got ill last spring the vet said she had to be kept quiet and not to let her play and get excited. Miw and Mouse have a tendency to chase each other about the house, so this meant keeping Mouse in a room that Miw couldn't access without supervision. The obvious choice was the bedroom as we also had to watch Mouse 24 hours a day due to the sleep apnea she had developed. Needless to say, Miw was not AT ALL pleased....not only was she banned from the bedroom at night......but she KNEW that Mouse was IN the bedroom! What followed was several nights of heart-breaking crying outside the door (and OH usually got up in the middle of the night to go to the spare room with Miw), and Miw admittedly snubbed me for the first days.......apparently it was entirely MY fault!

After about a week I had the brilliant idea of putting a warm fluffy jumper I had been wearing all day on one of Miw's favourite chairs in the dining room one night......I showed her it was there at bedtime.....and hey presto, a QUIET night! That was when she stopped snubbing me too!

So, maybe try a jumper you or OH have worn, on a favourite sleeping place other than the bedroom? The cats may just need that extra comfort of your smell.

Good luck!

[Jasmine]

All the cats I have had have free run of the house in the daytime but at night I have always put them in the kitchen - they soon get used to it.

In July I had a 12 year old cat from the C.P - the first night he was shut in the kitchen (with a bed, food and his litter tray of course) he cried all night and scratched the door continually , the next night for only part of the night - by the tine we had him for 5 days there was no problem and now he knows it is bedtime and is quite happy to go in there - normally we hear nothing from him until next morning.

Like everything they soon get used to things - when I first had him he wanted to go out every night after tea, but soon realised I did not let him out at night - now he never does that - he is quite happy to go in the lounge and wait for us to go and sit down with him.

[smudgley]

Originally Posted by Moli

Think there would be more chance of you being banned from the bedroom, than Bluebell...Smudgley

Now THAT is very, very true

[meep]

Day 1

The boys were loving their new beds during the evening, and whilst they normally play a lot around 9 or 10, they were both snuggled up and snoozing. However, once they knew we were making our normal moves for bed (brushing our teeth, turning off tv) they woke up and started playing. So they weren't in their beds when we went to ours.

Thankfully neither of them were waiting for us on our bed, they were both playing in the living room. So I said goodnight to them, and shut the bedroom door. It took about half an hour for Darcy to realise, but once he did...

It was just what I expected really. A normal meow, a scratch. A more persistent meow. A few scratches. 2 minutes in, he was yowling and howling and digging furiously at the door, it keep moving slightly as if he was butting against it, and his yowls were so heart-wrenching "rrooawwwwwwllllllllll!!!" He did that for about 10 minutes then settled down. Then about 20 minutes later he was at it again. But we remained completely steadfast and ignored him entirely. I know if I went and opened the door to try and calm him, it would give him hope and make him thing if he scratched and meowed for long enough, someone would open the door.

So we eventually fell asleep, but I was woken up in the middle of the night (3amish) to the same yowling and dramatic digging, scratching and butting of the door. It only lasted 10 minutes at a time, then the yowls turned to peeps, and prrps and then he was quiet.

(I don't think Minsky took part in any of the yowling or digging. I didn't recognise his meow, and Darcy is the more vocal of the two.)

This morning we were woken up at 7am by the same thing, but this time it was more "it's breakfast time! come on!" as usually if they were in the bedroom they'd be pushing things off the shelves and walking all over us at this time.

When I opened the door, both were sitting directly in front of me, staring straight up with big eyes. Minsky may have been sitting there when Darcy was yowling and clawing.

Darcy was extra affectionate this morning, but Minsky was his normal playful self. Neither of them seemed any worse for the night-time antics, Darcy just a bit clingier.

Don't know if it was a coincidence, but when I went to leave the flat this morning (OH had already left) normally they sit on the bed and watch me go, longingly, but this morning they were both sitting in front of the door. Minsky was lying lengthways, leaning against it and Darcy was sitting at the side where it would open and sniffing at the crack, then looking up at me and peeping and purring. Normally if I gently knudge him aside with my foot, he'll walk backwards and I can get out, but everytime I did that, he jumped over it and sat at the door with determination.

So I think they were both a bit clingier than normal and a bit unsettled by not being in the bedroom for the first time since we've had them. But there was no destruction in the flat, and neither seemed upset otherwise (still eating, using litter tray etc.)

It was really heart-wrenching to listen to, as Darcy has never really yowled like that before, very forlorn and needy. But I have made a resolution and am trying to stick to it. In a few months time it'll be a routine and they'll be as used to it as they were when they slept on the bed. I did miss them on the bed too it has to be said, but we'll all benefit in the long-run I'm sure!

[yola]

I couldn't do it, you are very brave and resolute! When the boys were tiny (like newborns) OH insisted that the cats be shut in the kitchen/dining room basement (where their food/water/litter is anyway). I couldn't bear it so on the pretext of having a drink I would go down and 'accidentally' leave the door open

The cats would mooch up but showed no interest in the baby . . . simply staked their old positions on the bed and it was business as usual

[dinahsmum]

Well done!
(I couldn't/wouldn't do it either!)
Have you any double sided sticky tape meep? If so, put some on the floor where he's scratching - they really don't like the feel of it, apparently
Hope it will be even easier tonight

[meep]

It was hard Yola, but I know there's light at the end of the tunnel!

As I said, when I had cats as a kid they were never allowed upstairs let alone on the beds, so I am used to it in a way. I did love having them on the bed some nights, but other nights it would have its down sides. I think in the long run it's best all round.

I made sure to give Darcy lots of extra cuddles this morning, and played with Minsky's ball a lot more!

[meep]

Thanks for the advice about double-sided tape DM. I don't have any, and don't know if it would deter Darcy as it's not just the floor but the entire door that he scratches at so would have to cover the whole door in it!

I know it's hard to imagine not having your pusses on the bed at night, as they are so loving and comforting. But keep in mind my two are extra large cats, and OH isn't small himself so often the bed is a very tight fit! They also shed hair everywhere and as I was badly allergic as a kid, even though I am ok now, if the bed gets too cat-y I sometimes wake up with a few rash spots on my face and sneezy all morning. I need to remind myself of the pros in doing this!

Also, my two would witout fail every night be on the bed all night, rather than occasionally joining us. It got a bit cramped!

[fancyabrew]

I wish we never let Chloe in to the bedroom as she really has taken over! She started by sleeping at the end of the bed and has over time moved further up and now plonks herself right by my head, and by morning she seems to have taken up even more room, that’s if she hasn’t woke me up at some early hour to climb under the duvet. Then there’s the hair and bits of grit and stone she seems to leave behind. And the worst was when she chucked up all over the duvet in the middle of the night, NOT nice!

We’re kind of lucky as we have a Super King bed, which fits 3 pillows across but she still takes up loads of room.