Hello Donna
I will tell you something, it sounds just like my Oscar and Cleo,
they lived together all their lives, yet still up to the day before I had Oscar PTS they carried on as you are describing, Oscar was twice if not a little more than the size of Cleo, and at first I was like you scared and concerned but eventually I came to realise they are being just cats, to the end you could never tell who was in charge.
Although Cleo could change food dishes mid mouthful and Oscar would move out of the way
he was kinda laid back but she choose which dish she ate from and he would move, same as the bed at night Oscar couldn't get on if Cleo was already there he had to creep round the other side but she could get on and walk over him
But Cleo would move if Oscar rolled over and they would always wash each other at night.
They often had squabbles heated catawalling setting the dogs off and bringing me running fur flying the works tails fluffed up and ears back but it was over as fast as it started but most of the time they were happy in each others company
and would come together to fight/keep out intruders
when one of the was off colour the other washed them, kept them comfortable. They were friends who had disagreements but I put it down to character.
Make sure they have somewhere to be alone if they want to, and I wouldn't interevene unless you can't stand it any more.
Cleo would push her luck occasionaly, and Oscar would beat her up but never an inury or drop of blood was spilt, it was more noise and furflying than anything. Thank God. And mine could growl more than the dogs.
The size issue always made me think it was Oscar to blame but eventually I decided it was 50/50 or more 60/40 being Cleo starting it. But its a cat thing, something you live with with more than 1 cat.
I'm sure you;ll have many happy years with them they'll sort it out.
Take care Karen
Thats not to say that it would be as difficult for you and your cats but it shouldnt be rushed into.
