Dependent Feral Cats - Will they survive when I leave?

[chimerical26]

Thank you for your reply. You are very understanding. I know you can't offer concrete help but at the moment it is helping just to discuss it. I really have tried to get help in the local area. Maybe if I put it in more context.
For the past 2 years I have been hit with agoraphobia. It makes it hard to do even simple things like go to the grocery store. As a result I don't really see people very often and have lost almost all of my friends. In the cats I have been finding some bit of companionship.
Up until recently there was another feral cat in the group who was playful and friendly. I called her Scamp. One day about 2 months ago she came to the back door and was having a lot of trouble with her hind legs. She kept falling and she struggled even to get up the step. Immediately I started ringing vets. I knew she didn't like being touched and I had no trap so I hoped someone would come out to see her. I tried to keep her inside but she hated it indoors and started freaking out. No one would come out to see her even though I was willing to pay anything.
She disappeared for a day and reappeared in a bad state. Barely able to stand. I rang animal welfare and friends who knew about these things and I tried websites but I could find no one to help.
Again she disappeared for a few days and I presumed she had died. When she reappeared it was a rainy day and she was soaked and skinnier than I thought a living animal could be. She could only drag her hind legs along. I walked the thin line between not wanting to terrify her but wanting to reassure her. It is hard to reassure a very sick feral cat that has a fear of being touched. I rang everywhere again. Animal welfare, vets, friends.
In the end I had to catch her with a bath towel as she tried to drag herself away up the garden in the rain. I brought her in a cardboard box to the vet. The vet told me she had probably been hit by a car, had a broken pelvis and he put her to sleep. Despite the year and a half of constant panic attacks and the deterioration in my quality of life that was one of only a handful of days in my adult life I've managed to cry.
I feel as though the local experts had had me watch a friend die rather than pay a visit to see how they might help. I know they make out-calls to farmers with sick livestock so they have the transport etc. I think they just didn't want to help because it was a seriously ill feral cat.
As you can imagine agoraphobia makes it hard for me to turn to neighbours, who are strangers to me, to ask them to take over caring for the cats. Also, I agree and suspect if the poison rumors were true that the cats would already be dead.
I guess what I was looking for most from here is something you have already given me. Reassurance that they will be okay and most likely will turn to their hunter instincts when there is no easy food. I do have some time on my side to see if there is anything else I can do for them.
Again thank you Miki and angieh and dandysmom too.

[angieh]

These cats have been helping you too, I can see that from your post above. They've actually made you contact other people and I am very very sorry that no-one local to you has been able to help you out. No wonder that you feel worried about their future, quite apart from a "normal" care for an unfortunate animal.

If it were me, I would try and brace myself, knowing that I will be moving on and gradually reduce the food you give them - say every other day and so on and try and wean them off looking to you for food. It does sound as if your local resources have come up short and won't help.

Members on this forum seem to be an understanding and caring bunch - we can offer what we can and at least be here to chat. Good luck.

[miki]

So sorry about your disease hun... And I know you are doing the best you can and it is hard when people and organizations that should do something refuse to help

I agree with angieh about gradually reducing food they get from you. Just maybe it would be easier for you (so you wouldnt feel guilty) to give them food everyday but just keep them a little hungry (like for example instead of givnig them 4 pouches of food a day give them just 3 - just for comparison, cause I don't know what you feed them )... I am sure they will soon start hunting and is better they get used to it now than in winter I think...
But don't lose hope - maybe there are members on here that live closer to you and could offer help? Who knows, maybe some neighbours will feed them...Do you know if any of them has cats/dogs - maybe approach them through writing a letter or something (I don't know how you get on with the postman)?

I wish you and your cats all the best - I hope all goes well - maybe they will even show you they can hunt (bring you prey) so you'll be reasured they could survive on their own.