How do you tell someone...

[dandysmom]

As usual, Yola has put it so well, not WHAT but HOW it is said. A person is coming here for help and information, and has no way of knowing she's pushed a very hot button! Our aim is to help the cat and inform the person in such a way that she won't log off thinking that this is an unfriendly site. Educate, not alienate.

[louise_81]

Originally Posted by yola

I was going to start a thread along a similar vein . . . but mine was going to ask whether more can be achieved by villifying and 'shouting' at a person or by calmly advising?

I have to say I think there is a fine line, You need someone to understand that animal husbandry of when they grew up is completely different to when they grew up. I think most people who do get animals have had them as a child and think that knowledge is enough.

I think that some people respond to the your cat/animal will be .... better behaved, less hormonal, where as others will respond to you are responsible for... the life this animal leads, the babies it produces and those babies from them. I also know on forums like this there are those who will not listen, dispite good advice, and those who blatently come on to goad and get a response

I also have to say that it was that thread and peoples responses that endeared me to the forum rather than chase me off!

[angieh]

I think Louise 81 and Random are exceptional and show wisdom and maturity beyond their years (some assumption going on here on behalf of Louise, sorry!). I hate conflict and will ignore/avoid at all costs. However, if I do get the chance to ask another cat owner off the forum whether they have had their cat neutered or will do when old enough, then I will ask and try a bit of information giving or gentle persuasion. Some peoples' first language is not animal welfare - but they can learn.

[louise_81]

Thank you, but personally I see it as common sense!

I have been involved with rabbit rescue for about a year now and I am beginning to see similar issues being raised on here with cats. i.e overbreeding, back street breeding (pets as cash cows regardless of illness, genetics), lack of care and attention regarding a animal's health well being and generally shirking responsibilities.

I live in an area with lots of cats, Many are un neutered and the local RSPCA does nothing, although the Manchester and Salford one are great and run regular neutering and microchipping schemes on a monthly basis, which are accessible to all i.e.Saturday afternoons, rather than the Wednesday Mornings that my local rescue runs theirs.

[Elaine]

I personally dont think I started off by being rude on that particular thread, the responses I got were rude and flippant which was red rag to a bull really.
I am who I am and I quite like who I am, so i wont be changing that for any one or any forum. I dont beleive that the education message is getting through other wise we wouldn't keep having these fall outs. I also dont like to be told to ignore these threads as to say nothing is only condoning what is happening.
I am perhaps not as well educated or as eloquent in how I voice my opinions as some others but that doesnt mean that my opinion is less valid.
It wouldnt do if we were all the same anyway now would it?
My very first cat was entire for the first year of his life, I thought it was cruel to neuter, and so yes i learned through my mistake but I was a very young teenager and we are going back almost 30 years.
If this forum and the internet had been around then and I had posted about him and got shot down, I would have probably taken in what was being said and held my hands up to my irresponsibility. The reason many of these people get so defensive in the first place is because they know that what they are doing is a selfish and irresponsible act.
As for being nicer, I dont think I could be. I dont tolerate fools in reality so why should I in the virtual world?

[angieh]

Can I ask Elaine what it was that made you learn and get your cat neutered?

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by angieh

Can I ask Elaine what it was that made you learn and get your cat neutered?

Beat me to it angieh

[borderdawn]

Originally Posted by angieh

Can I ask Elaine what it was that made you learn and get your cat neutered?

Well as far back as 38yrs ago we had our Cats neutered, it was rescue "policy" then, so its been commonplace for decades. Even visiting a Vet for vaccs in a kitten, its most likely it will be mentioned, no "learning" required. IMO that is.

[Elaine]

Originally Posted by angieh

Can I ask Elaine what it was that made you learn and get your cat neutered?

What made me learn was a very big lecture from a PDSA vet about being irresponsible and uncaring for cats as a whole.
As Dawn has said neutering policies have been in place for decades. I was 16 and it was a shock to be told in such an abrupt manner, but thats how I learned and it's always stuck with me. If he had been all namby pamby about it, I'd have probably thought "what a dick" but as he wasnt, the message really hit home.

[angieh]

Thanks Elaine.

Dawn - can I say that even our Elaine "learned" by going to that talk. We are not all born with the knowledge, so learning IS involved in one way or another.

I agree of course that neutering is the responsible thing to do in the cat's interests. I did not have cats until the mid 80's and had Merlin done when he was old enough. Smudge adopted me and was already preggers, but I had her done as soon as possible after she'd had her kits. So I know that the message has been around for a good long while.