Memorial Locket?

[Magpye]

Originally Posted by pookyandjo

to those people... they are "just a cat" if you haven't heard them already you may hear things like... "dont worry... you can just get another one" or "why are you so upset... its not like it was your child"
things like this are hurtful and unfortunately can go with the territory of being owned by a cat..

I'll never understand why people think it's okay to say such things. I'm certain they wouldn't say something similar to someone whose father, mother, sibling or child had just died. I've had friends ask me why I bothered 'wasting' my money putting my kitty through chemo treatment when I could have just 'bought a new one'. Of course to them, those extra 3 years I got with my baby were just money down the drain but to me it was 100% worth it even if the cancer did get her in the end. To many, animals seem to be indispensable things that can be interchanged and replaced when necessary which I think is really sad.

JBAlways, I would be really interested to see how your locket turns out and whether it can hold the fur. My cat was pts yesterday morning and I've been considering doing something similar to you with her fur. I'm so sorry for your loss too I know how you're feeling, it's so lonely without them around and it's so easy to torture yourself by wondering if they would still be here had you just done things differently

[JBalways2000]

You are all so kind, and trust me i know i can post about my feelings here, you are a wonderful group of people and you are helping me so much. I was just trying to keep my locket thread seperate from it, but just couldnt help it. I have been meaning to start a new thread to talk about Raven, but i just couldnt think of an appropriate title for it. I had been posting in the thread i made in the health section, but every time i did i was seeing the title of that(Raven has kidney failure) and it was upsetting me too much.

We have actually been very lucky with Raven because our families have been very understanding of our feelings, our Mom's especially. I think they have seen over the years how much our animals mean to us, especially the cats. I didnt realise until now how much we speak about the kitties without even realising it lol but our Mom's have been brilliant letting us talk their ears off on the phone about Raven and crying to them. They both told us seperately that they know the cats are like children to us and they understand our loss-i was a little suprised that they both understood that so much and it was definately a comfort not to have to explain it. It was especially shocking as neither of them are cat lovers or like animals very much-they would never hurt one, but they just dont feel that connection. Its good to know that even they realise how important the cats are to us though. a couple of family members have let us down over Raven and it is a bit upsetting, but most of our family have been there for us and talking with all of you means alot too, it really does.

My OH is just looking through the video camera now checking for Raven footage-we have barely ever used it and not touched it in a while so im happy to say that he has already found alot of video of Raven-apparently its mostly of Raven that must be my fault i watched a little clip of him the other day that we had got on the digital camera, it was of him high on catnip and it made me smile so much. Im so glad we were able to get so many photos and even bits of video of him, but i know even if we hadnt the most important thing is all the memories he has given us, each one of them perfect.

Tabsie im glad that you got your locket back, il be looking forward to seeing it Did the fur go into it ok if you dont mind me asking? I can completely understand how upsetting it must have been choosing the photo, but i hope that now it will also bring comfort to you x

Thankyou all again for the kind words, the comfort and the hugs, you are all brilliant and im so glad to be a part of this little community.

[JBalways2000]

Originally Posted by Magpye

I'll never understand why people think it's okay to say such things. I'm certain they wouldn't say something similar to someone whose father, mother, sibling or child had just died. I've had friends ask me why I bothered 'wasting' my money putting my kitty through chemo treatment when I could have just 'bought a new one'. Of course to them, those extra 3 years I got with my baby were just money down the drain but to me it was 100% worth it even if the cancer did get her in the end. To many, animals seem to be indispensable things that can be interchanged and replaced when necessary which I think is really sad.

JBAlways, I would be really interested to see how your locket turns out and whether it can hold the fur. My cat was pts yesterday morning and I've been considering doing something similar to you with her fur. I'm so sorry for your loss too I know how you're feeling, it's so lonely without them around and it's so easy to torture yourself by wondering if they would still be here had you just done things differently

I am so sorry for your loss I cant believe anyone would say such hurtful things to you. As you say it gave your baby years of her life that she wouldnt have had if it was not for you-you cant put a price on that but im sure your baby repaid you with all the love she had, thats what our kitties do isnt it? We dont even have to ask it of them, they give back tenfold of what they receive.

I think the problem with alot of people is that they just dont have that connection with animals so its easy for them to think in terms of "get another one, its cheaper". I used to think i was close to one of my sisters, and the last few months she has upset me a little anyway, but im sad to say that even though my Mom has spoke with her numerous times about Raven and how upset i am she hasnt even tried to contact me. I know she has never wanted animals, out of the three of us it was always me begging for pets growing up and she was never interested, but her own husband is a big cat lover and grew up with cats and still has a photo of his cat Whiskey on the photo shelf along side photos of their children, so it shows how much he cared about his old girl. i thought that would be enough for her to realise the pain i was going through as her husband only lost his cat a few years back and reached a grand age of 22 so he had her most of his life. I feel a little sad for him now wondering if she was ever there fully when he was going through his pain. he had moved out years before losing her, but he was an only child and still sees his parents nearly every day which meant he saw his cat alot even after moving out so it still would have been very painful for him.

You do just get the completely uncaring types aswell of course and we have encountered plenty of them, mostly over us keeping ratties. Im glad to say we havent had much problems over us keeping kitties-even our neighbours are animal lovers so we have been lucky the last few years even with that(one side of us have only lived there a couple of years and before that it was a family from hell).

I dream of a world where we can all live in harmony with animals and they are no longer seen as possessions, but rather the companions that they are to us. It could be much worse though, atleast there are plenty of people in the world that feel the way we all do.

[angieh]

((((HUGS)))) JB - wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a world where everyone and everything was in harmony? Nirvana, I suppose.

Don't worry about not writing Raven's obituary. My memorial to Merlin is still half finished. Throughout this year, I have returned to it several times and read through what's already there (mostly tributes paid by Catsey members). Each time it has choked me but I find now that I can cry and smile almost at the same time. The passage of time does dull the pain, but keeping those memories alive becomes easier because I found that I can talk about little things that Merlin used to do with my OH and we can smile about them. Unfortunately, when Merlin was a young chap in the 80s it was before digital cameras and I have very few photos of him as a kitten or a youngster and they are not all that good. I do envy you having video footage of Raven. Perhaps you will feel like posting some of that when you are ready.

I am glad that most of your family have been supportive. I found the best people when Merlin went were the staff at my veterinary surgery - they couldn't have been kinder or more caring.

[JBalways2000]

Originally Posted by angieh

((((HUGS)))) JB - wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a world where everyone and everything was in harmony? Nirvana, I suppose.

Don't worry about not writing Raven's obituary. My memorial to Merlin is still half finished. Throughout this year, I have returned to it several times and read through what's already there (mostly tributes paid by Catsey members). Each time it has choked me but I find now that I can cry and smile almost at the same time. The passage of time does dull the pain, but keeping those memories alive becomes easier because I found that I can talk about little things that Merlin used to do with my OH and we can smile about them. Unfortunately, when Merlin was a young chap in the 80s it was before digital cameras and I have very few photos of him as a kitten or a youngster and they are not all that good. I do envy you having video footage of Raven. Perhaps you will feel like posting some of that when you are ready.

I am glad that most of your family have been supportive. I found the best people when Merlin went were the staff at my veterinary surgery - they couldn't have been kinder or more caring.

Thankyou and yes when i feel ready i will definately share some of the video we have found. i still havent watched any apart from the clip i mentioned, i may have a look tonight. I do know how you must feel about not having many photos from Merlin being a kitten-when we first started keeping ratties we didnt have a camera so we only have a few blurry ones of the guys that didnt live very long and it is sad, but the most important thing is the memories they have left us with. It sounds like your boy lived a very long happy life too

Its lovely that your vets were so good to you-ours were very kind too. We have had our ups and downs at our vets, mainly because im very over protective of our fur babies and have a tendancy to question the vets sometimes but i know i can trust them all with their lives and when you have companion animals there is nothing more important then having a vet you can trust.

My OH has just came back from the vets-he had to bring our little mousey girl but luckily the vet says she isnt as bad as she looks, though she does have a bad chest infection-its nice to get a bit of good news after the last couple of weeks. He collected the ashes while he was there and as soon as i took Raven's casket out of its box, AJ climbed into it Thats AJ-he always has to climb into a box or sit on a bit of paper, it doesnt matter how small it is, doesnt stop our big boy from trying! i thought it was very fitting and im greatful to him for putting a smile on my face during another sad moment. What would i do without my boys?

[angieh]

Yes, now what about some photos of your lovely comforting boys, JB?

[JBalways2000]

Originally Posted by angieh

Yes, now what about some photos of your lovely comforting boys, JB?

your right, i will have to make a thread and i will put some piccies of all four boys on it so you can all see my little furry Angels. Hopefully i will have time to do that this evening!

[dandysmom]

I do look forward to those pics, JB! Bless them for helping you at this sad time.

[JBalways2000]

Hi all

Just wanted to update because after looking for the perfect locket for over 2 weeks, i found one that seems almost too good to be true. i had been set on getting a white gold one, but i changed my mind after thinking about it because all the jewellery that i do wear is silver, and as i plan to never take this locket off, i thought it better to get the locket in silver too.

I saw a few different ones that i liked, but as soon as i saw this one a couple of nights ago i knew it was the one. I found it on ebay and after asking the seller a couple of questions, i have bought it today. here is the link for anyone interested, and i will of course update once i receive it:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...=STRK:MEWAX:IT

As they add the engraving themselves it will be a couple of weeks before it get it. I have asked them to put just one larger paw print on the front, rather than the three that are shown in the photo. I will also be getting Raven's name on the back. As it holds four photos i am thinking about putting a piccie of each of my boys in it, but i shall see what i think once it arrives.

I will be getting a longer length chain for it, but other then that i think it is pretty perfect and im hoping it will be easy enough to put his fur into. again, once i have the locket i will let you all know how i get on with it.

I do promise to make a thread with photos of my boys in soon, they really are my Angels. Raven's brothers have been little heroes to us these last few weeks and have been one of the only things keeping us going. We owe them so much

[dandysmom]

That looks lovely, just what you were looking for!