Beauty's not very well

[Juli]

I'm so sorry to hear that Beauty is not well at the moment, sending best wishes for a speedy recovery

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by yola

Sweetheart - I just wanted to add, please don't think we're having a go at you, we're just trying to help you push for the right information to give you the tools to deal with Beauty's illness.

I a bit gobby at the best of times and I will harangue people to get them to tell me what I want them to tell me - even if I have to stamp my feet to get it. I suspect Elaine's the same

If none of your vets will help you keep trying to find one that will. I also realise that all these things are very expensive and (especially at the moment) money can be very tight. The worst thing you can do is give up on Beauty when there is a chance that with the right diet and medication she can live for months if not years longer.

Try and remain positive until you 100% have the evidence that leads you to having to make 'that' decision.

Originally Posted by meep

RCR I'm so sorry to hear of your worries for Beauty, and your vets bad handling of the whole situation. I can wholly sympathise. My wee one, Chaska, was diagnosed with 'some sort of kidney problem' by the vet when we noticed she had lost weight and wasn't grooming herself as much. She was given an antibiotic shot and prescription food. The vet didn't say anything else, and didn't even mention the words Chronic Renal Failure. She said "Chaska may pull through she may not". This was before I'd really found out about CRF on Catsey, and so I was clueless. A month later Chaska had only gotten worse, and after another two vet visits we decided to PTS. I don't mean that that is the only option, but I felt at the end of the whole experience that our vet kept us very poorly informed, didn't discuss any options, and it was only Chaska had gone that I really spoke to people like Elaine about CRF and discovered the in's and out's. As Elaine said, every cat with CRF is different. Chaska had always been a 'weak' cat, and was only 7 - she was the runt of her feral cat litter, so never the healthiest of cats anyway. But I feel, had the vet given me all the information instead of fobbing me off with the usual prescription, I would have been more aware and able to help Chaska, and make more informed decisions.

But you do know the in's and out's of CRF. You have spoken with Elaine and other members several times who have all given wonderful advice that I only wish I'd known when Chaska was first diagnosed with 'kidney problems'.

You know Beauty best, and you may be right that she is simply in too much pain and suffering and you'll know when the time is right to let her go. But it breaks my heart to think that another poor cat and loving owner could make that decision without having been given the full, complete facts on their cats health and the option available.

As Yola has said, I as well as everyone else, have only said all this to support you and show my sympathy and concern.

This really must be a hard time for you, I know how much Beauty means to you. I hope that whatever decision you make, you and Beauty are both happy. Dealing with a CRF cat isn't easy, and dealing with an unhelpful vet isn't easy either, so combined it must be very stressful. But if you have it in you at the next vet visit, I would suggest you take a long a list of questions, suggested by the members here, and get some answers from the vet!

Good luck RCR, and gentle pets and purrs for Beauty.

Well, today (and later on last night) Beauty could tolerate being stroked, but she still seems to be in a lot of pain when picked up. She'll hunch up then try to get away from the "hurt" ie the pain that I'm putting her in by picking her up. I'm taking her in on Friday and hopefully our usual vet will be there. Out of all the vets I've seen with Beauty, he's probably the best one.

I know you all are trying to help, but if Beauty's in so much pain we can't even pick her up (before she became ill she'd plead to get picked up and cuddled) if there's nothing more the vet can do then I feel it might be kinder to let her go.

I'm not wanting to have to end her life in that way, nor am I going to if she'll get better, but what I'm saying - and don't take this the wrong way - if she's in that much pain we think it would be kinder to put her out of her misery. Blame me for it if you like, I certaintly feel as if I should do more for her, but if it has to be then it has to be.

EDIT: Forgot to say this but her appetite has picked up a bit yesterday, dropped a little today and so far she hasn't vomited at all.

[Elaine]

Originally Posted by rescuecatsrule

Well, today (and later on last night) Beauty could tolerate being stroked, but she still seems to be in a lot of pain when picked up. She'll hunch up then try to get away from the "hurt" ie the pain that I'm putting her in by picking her up. I'm taking her in on Friday and hopefully our usual vet will be there. Out of all the vets I've seen with Beauty, he's probably the best one.

I know you all are trying to help, but if Beauty's in so much pain we can't even pick her up (before she became ill she'd plead to get picked up and cuddled) if there's nothing more the vet can do then I feel it might be kinder to let her go.

I'm not wanting to have to end her life in that way, nor am I going to if she'll get better, but what I'm saying - and don't take this the wrong way - if she's in that much pain we think it would be kinder to put her out of her misery. Blame me for it if you like, I certaintly feel as if I should do more for her, but if it has to be then it has to be.

EDIT: Forgot to say this but her appetite has picked up a bit yesterday, dropped a little today and so far she hasn't vomited at all.

Please stop trying to pick her up and just stroke her where she may be at that time. Imagine how you would feel if you were feeling sick, squeemish and hadnt eaten very much then some one comes from behind and gives you a squeeze. It wouldnt be nice and you too would struggle to get away.
Can I also suggest that you look through the CRF site and print off anything that you feel is relevant to Beauties case and highlight the bits you want the vet to address. It's often easier that way.
All the best.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Elaine

Please stop trying to pick her up and just stroke her where she may be at that time. Imagine how you would feel if you were feeling sick, squeemish and hadnt eaten very much then some one comes from behind and gives you a squeeze. It wouldnt be nice and you too would struggle to get away.
Can I also suggest that you look through the CRF site and print off anything that you feel is relevant to Beauties case and highlight the bits you want the vet to address. It's often easier that way.
All the best.

Yep, even if I have to go to the local library to do it! (our printer's being tempermental today)

I've stopped trying to pick her up since she showed me she was in pain this morning, she can tolerate a few strokes but I've found if I try stroking her sides she flinches away. When I go to the vets on Friday I'll get the vet to check her over. Again.

[yola]

You may well be right and in the end you will have to make the decision that I know you're fighting against (understandably). However, you owe it to both of you to be fully familiar with the facts. Your vet - the one you trust - will hopefully help you by assessing her condition, but try to be in a position to make the decision based on your own knowledge also.

It's just that it'll make it easier for you to deal with when/if that decision needs to be made.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by yola

You may well be right and in the end you will have to make the decision that I know you're fighting against (understandably). However, you owe it to both of you to be fully familiar with the facts. Your vet - the one you trust - will hopefully help you by assessing her condition, but try to be in a position to make the decision based on your own knowledge also.

It's just that it'll make it easier for you to deal with when/if that decision needs to be made.

I feel I owe it to Beauty to somehow magically make her better

[yola]

You can't - that's the sad thing about it!

I know that we all want our pets to live forever; to be fit and healthy. But Beauty has a condition that means she will never be well. Nevertheless it needs to be managed with sensitivity and with a keen eye.

Beauty is counting on you to make sure she doesn't suffer unnecessarily but at the same time to look for signs of hope and wellbeing and react accordingly.

[Elaine]

You know, I used to joke with friends that my dear old Winston was imortal, especially when he was doing well, but ofcourse he wasnt.
I also used to say things like, if I could give him two new kidneys then i would, but again realistically I would never have put him through that.
Part of Beauties condition is that you are ofcourse waiting for them to die in a sense. Its not an easy condition for owners or animals. I have read,heard and spoken with owners of cats who looked like they were almost on the brink but once the condition was managed and stabalised, the cats have gone on to live months if not years.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Elaine

You know, I used to joke with friends that my dear old Winston was imortal, especially when he was doing well, but ofcourse he wasnt.
I also used to say things like, if I could give him two new kidneys then i would, but again realistically I would never have put him through that.
Part of Beauties condition is that you are ofcourse waiting for them to die in a sense. Its not an easy condition for owners or animals. I have read,heard and spoken with owners of cats who looked like they were almost on the brink but once the condition was managed and stabalised, the cats have gone on to live months if not years.

I can hope, but if Beauty's hurting as much as I think she is and if the vet can't do any more then that's it. That sounds cruel, reading back, but if nobody can do any more for Beauty, would it be fair to keep her going? Taking Beauty in on Friday so I'll know how her kidneys are doing then and I can find out if the vet can do anything for Beauty's pain.

[yola]

Will the vet carry out a kidney reading and give you the results there and then to enable you both to make a decision on her future treatment?

Why wait until Friday if she's really showing signs of distress and acute pain?

Please pardon me for being blunt - because it's late and this dialogue has really gone on for quite some time without resolution; but you need to grasp the nettle and face reality and get your cat seen by a vet who can help you move forward. Procrastinating is only potentially causing your cat to suffer when simple medication might help ease her discomfort!!!