Could you share your husband?

[Canis-Equus]

*sticks head above parapet*

I have a similar arrangment to Snoof.... although since im an anti social gitbag and so is my OH, we dont go 'out' as such and thus dont meet people very often.

If everyone is honest with one another and themselves then there isnt a problem.

In ANY kind of relationship, if there isnt openness and honesty, the ability to communicate with one another, then its all going to go wrong eventually, no matter what 'label' that relationship has.

Like Snoof said... cheating is unacceptable and it has no part in open relationships, polyamory, . etc etc. None at all.

Nor, as some people mistakenly believe, does being 'loose' or 'easy' have owt to do wtih it.
To my mind, its about having VERY close friendships, certain friends of mine i know er, sh all we say inside out! lol.

For other people it may be about having no-strings sex with people who arent their 'primary partner'.... if its safe and its honest, does it matter??

Sex and love are not and never will equate to the same thing, and someone brought up the issue of under 16's reading this thread.
To my mind, the sooner a person gets to grips with that fact, the better. Sex with a person does not always mean they will love you forever and ever.

As to the why.... well. Its different isnt it. Sex wtih a long term partner is always different to sex with someone who is new to you, or someone you dont sleep with very often. Thers nothing wrong with different.... after all we dont eat the same meal every day, wear the same outfit or listen to the same album on repeat, day in, day out!

It certainly isnt for everyone (ha, no, its all mine, you cant have any....).... if its not for you, its not, although people do change and at one time it wasnt for me, i couldnt have coped with it..... if it IS for you I see no reason why anyone should be told that it is 'wrong' - monogamy is after all a social convention, nothing more.

Em

[bobbie3917]

who said that Swinging or NSA sex was not old fashioned? i bet it has been around for just as long as monogamy has.
i think in some cases you know your partner better then a monogamy's couple would. i don't see it any different to a couple having an interest in the same thing. you don't fall in love with every person you meet and you don't want them to fall in love with you its a bit of fun at the end of the day

[Sue]

wow, this thread has enlightened me, i like the way this site doesnt just talk about cats

I am single at the moment, but not sure i could share my boyfriend/husband. I do know that at the moment, i am having fun enjoying the freedom of being able to sleep with whom i want, without hurting or having to think about someone else

[Donna]

Originally Posted by Sue

wow, this thread has enlightened me, i like the way this site doesnt just talk about cats

I am single at the moment, but not sure i could share my boyfriend/husband. I do know that at the moment, i am having fun enjoying the freedom of being able to sleep with whom i want, without hurting or having to think about someone else

As much as we love our cats, I dont think any of us could talk JUST about our cats 24 hours a day

I think, whatever suits you is what is right. Whatever kind of relationship you have. I have been single for three years after being with the same man for best part of 20 years.

I have had no partner in the three years I have been single and wouldnt be seen to do that in front of my children, nor could I have sex with someone I didnt love.

[bobbie3917]

hi Donna im the same as you single and not looking i was with my ex for 12 years and been single for 9 months. if i was on the look my kids would never know, its not something i think the kids should know anything about until you think its the real thing, but until i know its the real thing i would prob sleep with them, thats not love thats lust but love comes after that so yes i will sleep with some 1 that i dont love just maybe like a lot

[Donna]

Originally Posted by bobbie3917

hi Donna im the same as you single and not looking i was with my ex for 12 years and been single for 9 months. if i was on the look my kids would never know, its not something i think the kids should know anything about until you think its the real thing, but until i know its the real thing i would prob sleep with them, thats not love thats lust but love comes after that so yes i will sleep with some 1 that i dont love just maybe like a lot

Exactly that, dont want the kids getting involved. If I see anybody it is on a day I do not have them and they are with their father.

I have "seen" someone on and off over the course of my single life, but the children are my priority and nothing or anybody will change that. I know my children's emotions would be up in the air if I changed things... so I leave it the way it is, and nobody gets hurt.

[Sue]

I dont have children, and i have no urge to have them either, so i have no problems. Just to be careful Enjoy life while i am young

[bobbie3917]

good on you Sue
and that s what im doing Donna there is some1 that i do see but not that my kids know about him or my ex for that matter but what i was saying is that you dont always sleep with some 1 you love if you know what i mean lol

[Donna]

Originally Posted by bobbie3917

good on you Sue
and that s what im doing Donna there is some1 that i do see but not that my kids know about him or my ex for that matter but what i was saying is that you dont always sleep with some 1 you love if you know what i mean lol

Me and you leading similar lives methinks!! Although for me there is something there!

[bobbie3917]

its not been going on long enough to know for me yet