Trouble coming to terms with my loss

[dandysmom]

We understand. When I lost my beautiful Siamese boy I kept welling up talking about him, and a few insensitive people at work said, "Well, but he was just a cat..."....beggars belief , doesn't it? They miss so much. The affection and sympathy here when Patches died at 20 last year was incredibly comforting to me.

[charliebubs]

Originally Posted by chriswt

Thank you Jane, I've just been reading your old post about your Kay and it made me well up too. Her facial markings are almost identical to Ollie's borhter Stan (he's sitting on Elena's lap in the first picture). Sorry for your loss.

I'm conintually gratful for everyones messages. And thanks to Mags for sending me the link to the Photo section. It was very therapeutic to see other peoples cats and to know that lots of people cosnider them a real and vital part of the family rather than just a pet.

Just a pet!?!?! Nobody on here would ever consider them just a pet. Our furbabes are all real and vital parts of our family, just as you describe. Losing them is so hard and we all understand and appreciate what you and your partner are going through.

Please do continue to post on here.......long after you have come to terms with your loss. We welcome newbies on here and love sharing our cat stories and photos.

Hugs to you both at this time
(((( ))))

[Steph]

Just a thought-if you could ever join our quiz night? It will never take the pain away but it does take one`s mind away from other things-and much as I love being surrounded by lovely ladies

[dandysmom]

Excellent suggestion, Steph! Think about it, Chris; it is fun!

[ellenlouise]

Hi Chris just read your message and my heart goes out to you. I lost my Trixie the same way last year. It was awful I totally relate to the way you say his eyes had changed. It was awful but now I look back and I remember the good times. I still miss her terribly everytime I look at her sister I miss her. I have to other cats now which she never met and this upsets me but having them to distract me helped me through the difficult days. Her sister seems to have finally recovered and isn't missing her as much anymore. I think it just takes times. This forum is wonderful they really look after you here. I am sorry that you lost ollie but by the sounds of it he had the most amazing daddy!

[chriswt]

Morning,
Well, thanks mainly to the support from everyone here which has been an incredible help and partly to due the sands of time things are starting to get a little easier. We’re looking at pictures of him more now and thoughts of his life pop into my head more now than thoughts of his death.

Elena and I went a restaurant on a boat on the Thames on Friday (booked before Ollie died) as we were looking for a wedding venue. We weren’t in particularly great spirit and the thought of it all wasn’t particularly appealing but having settled down at our table in the main deck I looked out of the window and gave out a little chuckle.

Starring me right back at me was this:

I know it seems daft but as all I was thinking about was Ollie-bear, Oille-Wally, Fat Ollie etc and then I look up and see a giant ‘O’ looking right back at me.

Well it certainly made up our mind that this was where we want the reception venue and Elena and I will be able to look across at the London Eye on our wedding day, think of Ollie and give him a toast!!!

The grieving process has a way to go yet but things like this make it that little bit easier.

Is it normal to be angry with people who don't like animals and nature and would it be wrong to banish them all to another land! that's how we're feeling at the moment.

[angieh]

Chris I am really happy for you and Elena - little serendipity moments like that do ease things for you and of course, Ollie is with you wherever you go.

I think that anger with "non animal lovers" is normal. They have no points of reference to appreciate how you are feeling and their presence is hurtful. I think it would be great to be able to banish them all anyway (apart from my friend S who has a real phobia, but is otherwise OK!) I am sure that violence and other nastiness would decrease.

So glad you have found this forum helpful to your grieving process. We have all been there to different degrees at some time or other and can truly sympathise with you and your fiancee.

When's the wedding?????

[chriswt]

Originally Posted by angieh

When's the wedding?????

Thanks,

The wedding is next May (fingers crossed) although we've changed the date loads of times.

Which probably leads me onto a another question which I guess I should start a new thread for in case I get told off by an Administrator .

[yola]

Ahhh. They won't tell you off. But another thread might be a good idea if only to stop you returning to your painful original post.

That is lovely and intuitive; fancy making that connection . . . I looked at it and was far too obtuse to link the wheel to a big 'O'

As for the non-animal lovers? I think there is a direct correlation between people who are cruel or disregarding of animals and how they interact on a human level with each other. But that's another matter for a debate thread!!

[dandysmom]

Admin wouldn't do that, Chris; we all get a bit off topic in threads occasionally! That was touching that the Eye immediately brought Ollie to mind...you will find as time passes that the happy memories do tend to ease the terrible one.....
How lovely that you and Elena have settled on the venue!
I feel very sorry for non-animal people. They miss so very, very much.......