For Tink

PoshPuss · 16-09-2011, 02:13 PM

Tink, so happy you have your friends who know how to lift your spirit. Such true friends are gems at this time. Your psych counsellor seems to know you are handling your grief but I'm glad you had a listening ear.
Stay strong xx

dandysmom · 16-09-2011, 03:48 PM

I'm happy to hear that; the friends are helping, and I think you're bearing up very well all considered. Hang in there, hon (((hugs)))

Kazz · 16-09-2011, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tink

Hi guys, I'm okay I guess.
Some depression of course. I have two really funny friends that have been helping me. Dark sense of humor is my only respite from the grief and that's why we hit it off to begin with--this couple used to double date with me and K. Anyway, I tend to get in a dark place and they try to bring me out with something silly and it does work for a temporary fix of relief. But obviously they can't do that all night and that's when it hits me the hardest. Had a phone consult with psych today that told me all my feelings are normal and will call me to check in on Tuesday again. I feel like I'm so exhausted but I can't sleep. Frustrating. Brief glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel. The rest of time I am just existing.

And that is good.

truthisouthere · 16-09-2011, 08:23 PM

Grief is very exhausting, but also cathartic...
Your body WILL let you sleep when it really needs to, and this is one small step to helping you heal Tink. Sleep as much or as little as your body tells you and don't let it get to you, just do what feels best for YOU. You'll sleep in time, don't worry..and in time you'll sleep better. It's very early days yet.

Tink · 17-09-2011, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truthisouthere

Grief is very exhausting, but also cathartic...
Your body WILL let you sleep when it really needs to, and this is one small step to helping you heal Tink. Sleep as much or as little as your body tells you and don't let it get to you, just do what feels best for YOU. You'll sleep in time, don't worry..and in time you'll sleep better. It's very early days yet.

I'm looking forward to this part. It isn't letting me sleep much. I'll just lay there wishing I was asleep so it's pointless so I just kind of wander. I was puttering till 5AM today before I laid my head down.

CathyW · 17-09-2011, 10:27 PM

i must admit i hadnt read any of the threads, im sorry wish i had done before. all i can say is your 1 strong person, ill be honest with you i dont know how i would cope. losing someone u love. everyones different i suppose, i remember when i lost my dad it seemed unfair that everyone was just getting on with their lives,and i felt as if mine had halted.
but slowly life starts moving on you will remember kevin with smile instead of a tear,
i wish i could give u a hug. but im sending u my thoughts and wishes .
cathy

calismum · 18-09-2011, 11:15 AM

Tink, words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. I felt I knew K just a tiny bit through you and he was a wonderful guy. Having read through this I have felt for you. Glad to hear things are just a little bit better and that chink of light is there for you to go toward. I have been through the loss of a partner and it is hard. Take care of yourself and the furkids, be your own person, K will always be there supporting you if you listen for him.

CM xx

Manyana13 · 19-09-2011, 12:12 AM

Tink, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I do not have any words or experience that can help you, but my thoughts are with you. Your video tribute to Kevin is so beautiful, I obviously did not know him, but his character and your love of each other came through in that video amazingly strongly. I wish you the peace you need so badly. Sending you hugs from me and my furries over here.x

Tink · 22-09-2011, 08:00 PM

Hi. I don't know what to say. So much been going on. I am having some issues with his family. They are trying to be helpful but we just don't really click on a lot of things. Feel like we are dealing with this completely differently...and that makes me feel pretty isolated from them.
My shrink has been checking on me via phone. She is helpful and it's nice to know that I make sense to someone.
I won't lie, I have some very bad moments. Nights are horrible. This house is like a graveyard of memories. I am starting to think of moving out just to save my sanity.
I've met two new friends. They make me laugh. Thing is it doesn't last very long. Everyone has their own lives. I think it's significantly different for me as I am home on disability. It's harder to find distractions...It's been really gloomy and rainy the last few days and that doesn't help much either.
It is hard for me to accept others saying they understand when I know at the end of the day they will be crawling into bed with their other half..or they have someone to eat dinner with or discuss the news..
There are people out there that are my friends but I don't want to intrude on their lives. It is so very difficult for me to put myself out there and be vulnerable to people's rejection. I hardly ever do that. And now I am in this position where I find myself needing company and I really hate that I need people. It makes me feel vulnerable and naked and pathetic and silly.
All the kitties have been very comforting to me. I am so sorry to them that they don't have their Papa anymore and that all their Mom does is either cry or shout or try to distract herself with other people. I thought I would be handling this differently. Imagined it a thousand times in my head and now I am nothing like that. I am not even sure who I am anymore.

alexgirl73 · 22-09-2011, 08:43 PM

Ah Tink

No matter how well prepared we are to lose a loved one, the reality is always completely different. I'm sorry to hear that you're having difficulty with K's family, everyone has to deal with things in their own way, and some don't understand what gets another person through the day, or the time they take to grieve.
As someone else who is at home all day on disability, I can totally empathise with the distraction problem, hours just seem to run into one another. Have you thought about perhaps using your jewellery making skills to make a tribute to K you can wear?
It's good to hear your doctor is keeping tabs on you and that you feel you can talk to her. Use her as much as you need/can, and don't forget that we're all here for the same purpose.
Perhaps moving house may be the best idea for you, but probably not right away. You may not be in the best place to make that sort of decision yet. It may be that you eventually feel comfort from being in the same house.
Sending much love and ((hugs)) xxx

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