Sweet Dreams Kaos (26/01/11 - 13/03/15)

[Amber]

Haven't been on here for a while but for the older members who remember him, and the new members who don't, I just wanted to pay tribute to my darling boy, who I lost so suddenly just over a week ago.

Kaos had been under the weather for a few weeks, having periods of not quite being himself and losing weight. I took him to the vet on 6th March as over the course of a few days, he began to look worse.

Blood tests revealed mild anaemia, and slight jaundice, but very little else. Various tests were sent to the lab to rule out various causes, and he was started on a high dose of antibiotics pending the results. Scans and x-rays of his abdomen were performed on 9th March, and revealed nothing abnormal other than the fact that his liver extended slightly further forward than perhaps it should have. His anaemia and jaundice had improved, so we continued with the antibiotics, still pending lab results.

The results revealed extremely high Bile Acids (liver function test) however his liver enzymes were perfectly normal.

On 12th March he suddenly stopped eating, having been enjoying tucking in to a variety of wet foods, tuna, chicken, basically anything he wanted with great enthusiasm up until that point. He began to sleep all of the time and became very grumpy and irritable which wasn't him at all.

I took him back to the vets on 13th March, where it was advised that we should proceed to exploratory surgery, as he had gone downhill so rapidly.

The surgery revealed that one whole lobe of his liver was a huge tumour, and the lymph nodes within the abdomen were all affected.

We were given the option there and then, of attempting to remove the tumour, and sending it off to the lab with the very small chance that it wasn't malignant, or to let him drift away under the anaesthetic there and then.

The thought of putting him through the surgery, and having him hospitalised for the next few days, painful from the surgery, drugged up to the eyeballs, in a place that he didn't know, surrounded by people that he didn't know, knowing that in the following few days we were probably going to get the news that the tumour was malignant, and have to let him go anyway, we made the heartbreaking decision to let him slip away peacefully under the anaesthetic. Me and my partner drove down to see him and stayed with him while he drifted away.

I am still in a total state of disbelief, and whilst I have shed so many tears, I do not feel that I have properly grieved for him yet. He has left behind such a huge empty space. He was always the one to greet you when you came home, to curl up on your chest when you got in to bed, even the annoying things like him scratching at the bathroom door, winding the dogs up, and jumping up to drink from the tap every time it was turned on knocking everything off the side in the process, I miss.

He always had such an appetite for life, and loved nothing more than roaming around the streets, sunbathing in the garden and going to visit the neighbours for a cheeky midnight snack. He truly was such a special boy, and to see him deteriorate so rapidly, and to lose him so young was devastating

So here is one last picture of my beautiful boy taken last summer, like a sun giving way to the moon, you were gone too soon. Sleep well my angel

[angieh]

I am very sorry to hear this news Amber. Poor boy - there is no doubt in my mind that you did the right thing for him and I'm sure you don't doubt it either. You are still in shock I suspect and that's why you don't feel that you've grieved properly for him. It's each day as it comes for a while I'm afraid and you have my sympathies.

[Kim]

I am so very sorry for your loss, it really hurts, I know, we had to have our darling lurcher boy Caleb pts on Friday due to complications from surgery for osteosarcoma. I still feel raw, numb, heartbroken as I'm sure you do. For what it is worth I think you did the right thing for Kaos. Someone said to me that you spared their pain for your own, very true. Hugs. Take care xx

[Velvet]

Im so so sorry for the loss of your lovely handsome boy.
Their lives are so short compared to ours. Those of us who have lost a much loved pet, we know what youre going through. You gave him freedom & peace - your last gift of love
Hugs xx

[yola]

There is such pain in what you write. Heartbreaking. But you did the right thing for you boy. I am facing a similar decision soon as my Ripsy is deteriorating so I can completely understand the range of emotions you are experiencing.

RIP lovely Kaos xx

[truthisouthere]

Sorry for the late reply but only Just read this, it's heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry for the loss of your precious Kaos, Amber, he looks such a sweet, gentle boy in the photo. Every one is so precious, some we feel more than others, like a shadow to us, OF us almost, they were such a big part of us and the lives shared together.
You were so brave to put HIS feelings before your own, a selfless act of love only a best friend, a mother, and one who truly loves could offer. Keep that special place in your heart for him, I know I do with my loved ones I have lost over the years; don't feel bad for grieving, even after a long while, it can comfort you by showing that he is and will always be there 'with you'.
Big hugs to your other little ones and take comfort from them too. Sorry for the late message.

[fecto's mum]

So sorry to hear about Kaos. It hurts a lot when we lose a special furry person, especially after such a hard decision. We lost our Chubbiz years ago but I miss him every day. He comes to 'visit' sometimes, especially if we are gardening, (he always supervised). I hope Kaos is happy, pain free and peaceful.