My cat’s deserting me…

[carternm31]

Well I am officially upset today…

I struggle to get my cat, Jaffa, in the house anymore, which at first was good but now its worrying me, I’d prefer her to be inside the house at nighttimes, but that’s difficult when you can’t find her. Anyway last week Jaffa came in and she smelt strongly of perfume. I said to my OH I thought it was a lady down the road as this lady keeps telling me how friendly my cat is, over and over. Anyway he told this lady Jaffa had come in one morning smelling of perfume, and she denied down to the ground she ever touches my cat, now my OH was a bit disappointed with this lie as only a few weeks before that he had seen her pick up my cat to show her off to her friends. (This woman is in her 40’s, married and has a dog by the way)

So anyway, then the next time she saw me out she came over and explained that she, and I quote “sprays perfume on her legs and perhaps when Jaffa rubs up against them that’s where the smell comes from” I calmly explained, in no way was I insinuating that I thought it was her perfume, and even if it was her I have no problem with it.

But then it got weirder, she told me that Jaffa and her dog get on so well, and sometimes she feels bad when my cat is pawing at her door to come in.

I laughed it off, picked Jaffa up and went home… I didn’t think any more of it until last night…

I went outside fairly late with Roxy, about half 11, this woman was also out there with her dog but she could not see me. My cat and her dog were walking around together in the car park and this woman was calling my cat over to her. And she did this I came over and said hello. She looked surprised, I commented on how well her dog and MY cat get along (whilst holding Roxy back from trying to chase Jaffa) As she walked off to go get her dog I called Jaffa over to me, but Jaffa walked up to this other lady and stood on her hind legs as if to jump up.

I almost cried… Jaffa never did this to me, not even before we got Roxy. I picked her up and stormed back into the house. What did I do to deserve this?!?

I have looked after, fed, cuddled, loved this cat for the past 7 years and now she decides to go off with someone else. I feel utterly betrayed!!!

I’ll admit, it probably has been hard for her since we got Roxy as she was starting to get used to being an only cat, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to give her attention. But it’s difficult when she is never around. If she is on my lap asleep I will stop Roxy annoying her, I won’t let Roxy bug her whilst she is eating, and they both equally sleep on the bed (If Jaffa is ever around) I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m thinking of locking her in the house for a while so I can sit there and really get the pets used to each other. And that would also stop the lying woman down the road from winding me up. But I also want her to have her freedom, I’m so confused… any advice really appreciated… however letting her go is not an option!!!!

[Emm]

I'm really sorry you are going through all this.

Cats are free spirits and they do tend to choose who they stay with - I don't feel its right to stop this. I know you are feeling really upset at the moment and your cat will be picking up on this - the best thing is to try and not take it personally - I know that is difficult. My only suggestion is to try and make your home extra appealing to Jaffa - like extra special food ,really good toys, a great climbing post.

If that does not work and Jaffa does decide to go, as hard as it seems you really have to let her go and be happy. We own dogs we never own cats.

I'm pretty sure though its only a phase and before long Jaffa will be back at your side

[dinahsmum]

Tend to agree with Emm. Cats often chose their owners, which is nice for them but must be a real slap in the face for the rejected home.
Hope it works out as well as it can for all parties.

[Sweet]

((((((hugs)))))) x

[Luke]

Out of the many, MANY cats we have had i don't think any of ours have ever gone off with other people. It does happen, and is why i'm not keen on cats truly going roaming-our tortie doesnt go too far but that does my nut in.
I was allways told the reason for cats taking up residence in other homes is that..when a cat is allowed out at its will, they of course develop a territory, then the widl instinct kicks in and when in the widl the cat would have many different resting places/dens etc at specific points of that territory-so cats taking cahoots in other peoples homes is usually just a case of this kicking in.
Sorry i can't really advise you on what to do Natalie

[carternm31]

Hi everyone thanks for your comments. But I must say I'm not giving in without a fight

We have kept Jaffa in tonight, she is now sleeping on our bed and Roxy hasn't bothered her at all

I know this is only short term but im hoping she'll realise we have a lot to offer her here...

[dandysmom]

My first reaction was that she disliked sharing the house with a dog, but then this woman has a dog also, so that makes no sense..unless it's your dog she objects to...?? I really have no suggestions except maybe fuss over her extravagantly if she allows it, give her lots of favorite treats, and keep her in for a while...hope something works...

[carternm31]

Thanks for the reply dandy, I think the difference is her dog is old and doesn't bother with the cat, so therefore Jaffa is ok with it. However our pup Roxy just wants to keep sniffing her and pawing her and it annoys her, like I said we try and stop Roxy before it starts.

Also I am starting to think it may be big dogs aswell. Jaffa grew up with a Jack Russel and 3 other cats. And this ladies dog is Jack Russel Size, so maybe Jaffa is actually just scared of Roxys size??

Gave her some cat milk last night and had a cuddle on the sofa, then she slept on the bed & she was still there this morning so it might be working

[Donna]

I think the young dog is driving her away - but you can entice her back with lots of treats and love - and some quiet time away up high somewhere away from the pup???

[dandysmom]

Donna has a very good point there; does Jaffa have a tower or another high place to retreat to when the dog is bothering her? Might be well worth a try....