Just rescued a kitty, what is the best way to introduce her?

[sibeluver03]

Hi everyone!
Yesterday we went to our local humane society and walked out with a young adult spayed female named Lola. She had been there for over a month and was at a previous shelter for who knows how long. She came to our local shelter because her previous one had run out of space. She was a darling thing, was very calm and loved to be petted.

Lola is doing well in her new home, but she is terribly nervous. We currently have her locked in her own bedroom with her own food, water, and litter box. She and our current kitty Socks saw each other last night and both were hissing and growling. Before we got Lola set up in the spare room we allowed her to eat from Socks' bowl, which made Socks very upset. Neither attacked or fought, just glared and hissed and growled.

Lola is also afraid of our 3 year old son. I hope that her fear is just temporary. Our son is very active and loud. Socks is an amazing cat with him, she tolerates his activity and lets him do just about anything to her. Because of this, our son thinks he can do the same with Lola. He doesn't understand that she is scared and frightened and that he shouldn't be so loud around her. We are for now not allowing him to go into Lola's room. That room is her safe spot and she needs to know all is well.

Can you amazing cat lovers give us some advice? How long should we keep Lola away from Socks? What do we do if one attacks the other when Lola is allowed out of her room? I would expect Socks to be the most aggressive, but you never know. I need all the advice you can offer! Thanks everyone!

[Velvet]

Hello

Look forward to chatting & photos of both your cats

Here is an article by Margaret Schill of WV Cats. Very experienced lady.

I can highly recommend use of Feliway diffusers - you can buy them on eBay bit cheaper than the stores or vets

Take each step slowly, holding onto one step for as many days as it takes for the cats to be ok at that step before moving on to the next step. (A few hisses are ok, but not prolonged hissing, growling or yowling, nor fights.) Rushing things will not make the cats accept each other faster, but will likely wind up making them not get along.

Once things go badly between cats new to each other, it is difficult to get them to go well. If you thought it would be fine to move on to the next step, but the cats turned out not to be ready, simply back track to the previous step for a few more days. Click on the names for each step below to get more details about that step and the reasons for doing those steps.

Isolation: Isolate the new cat completely for a few days, and especially until the new cat has been examined by a vet to be checked for any illnesses, diseases and parasites. The new cat also needs time to calm down and get used to being in a strange place, before he or she is in a good frame of mind to meet other cats.
Scent Familiarization: Scent familiarization with items, such as towels, rubbed on each cat, then left in the area of the other cat, while the cats are being kept separately.
Visual Familiarization: Seeing each other with no physical contact, such as from a slightly cracked opened door a few times a day. This is done along with Scent Familiarization.
Room Swapping: Switching the cats' places for a while every day, with no physical contact between them. This is added to doing Scent Familiarization and Visual Familiarization.
Developing Positive Associations: Start developing positive associations with no physical contact, such as by feeding the cats on opposite sides of a door when cracked opened and even when it is shut. Continue with the above steps as well.
Short Supervised Visits: Brief, highly supervised visits paired with food or treats. Continue with Room Swapping, but Scent Familiarization and Visual Familiarization can be discontinued.
Separation Signs of Hostilities: Separate the cats at signs of hostilities, or great fear. Learn cat body language to tell when a problem is starting. Click on the name of this step to read about cat body language and to see some pictures.
Longer, Carefully Supervised Visits: Mingling under very careful supervision for up to a few hours, before total separation again. Adjust the length of time depending upon whether there are any signs of hostilities or stress, but no matter how well things seem, do not yet permit 24/7 free mingling. Continue with Room Swapping.
Limited Free Mingling: When the above have gone well, free mingling except when the people are not home or asleep, so quick intervention can be done if needed.
Free Mingling Full Time: The cats are let together freely all the time when all the above steps have gone well. Backtrack to the limited mingling if the cats weren't quite ready to be together all the time.
Stay on each step for as many days or even weeks as necessary for your particular combination of cats. Some cats take longer to adjust to a new cat than some other cats will.

You may come across advice saying to ignore the new cat so the resident cat doesn't get upset. Do NOT do that. If you ignore a new cat in front of the resident cat, it makes the resident cat feel you don't really care or want that cat there either. It also makes the new cat feel unwanted and uncared for. It is good to show affection to the new cat, so the resident cat sees you want that cat in the home. But, you don't go overboard with shows of affection to the new cat in front of the resident cat. When you take in a new cat, you need to feel as much loyalty and concern for that cat, and worry just as much about how the new cat feels as you do your first cat.

[sibeluver03]

Thank you for that! Last night we did the room exchange. They didn't see each other at all, so I thought they could smell around without feeling threatened. Lola wanted nothing to do with exploring. She just wanted to lay with us on the couch. That sweet thing just gazed up at us with the most loving eyes as she purred. We had never adopted a shelter pet before and now I know what people are talking about when they say those pets are the most appreciative and thankful. Lola just stared and stared at us. She finally got down to explore a bit and I felt bad when I had to tell her off a bit because she had jumped up on the kitchen table and counters. Socks has never been allowed up on those so Lola will not be either. Socks didn't seem to mind the room swap. She was ready to come out though. I think we will continue to do this for several days and also the scent exchange with a wash cloth or towel. The cats don't mind each other's scents, I hope that they can get along soon.

Do you have any tips on helping Lola get used to our 3 year old son? We are of course working with him as his parents to treat Lola nicely, but I need Lola to help us help him! =)

I will post photos as soon as I get a chance to upload some!

[angieh]

Hi there! Good luck with the introductions. I have never introduced a cat/child to each other but as your son gets on well with your resident Socks, it must be that you have started him off well. You just need to reinforce that he should not move so quickly around Lola, and perhaps try to foster a caring attitude in your son by telling him how unhappy poor Lola has been and that he needs to treat her gently to help her settle into her new home.

I do hope all goes well for you, your family and the cats! Photos would be lovely!!!

[dandysmom]

It sounds as if you all are off to a good start; hope it continues to go well! I'm unaccustomed to children, but Angie's advice seems practical to me ... yes, pics, please!

[sibeluver03]

Here are Socks and Lola. Socks is first, Lola is second. Lola's photo is from the shelter. They have a professional photographer take pictures of their animals so they can have nice photos to put on their website and also on pet search sites like petfinder.com .

Lola has not been enjoying being cooped up in the spare room so we let her out. She was out all day yesterday and while there was a little growling and hissing between she and Socks, it wasn't bad! I gave them both some wet cat food and fed them together with about 1 foot between them. They did extremely well. Lola slept with us on our bed last night, as Socks does every night. They didn't sleep near each other, but I was pleased that they were both relaxed enough to curl up with us and sleep.

I am no longer concerned about Socks and Lola getting along. I feel confident that they will be sisters within 2 or so weeks! My main worry now is Lola's fear of my son. Yesterday I let him feed her cat treats. She only took one from his hand before refusing all others unless it was in my hand. He later got excited and loud and Lola fled for the safety of under the couch. She wouldn't come out for several hours. It was after my son went to bed for the night when she finally came out and that was with some encouragement from me.

I think Lola will be okay in time, I just hate that she is so afraid right now. It must be hard for a cat who doesn't understand that she is safe.

[angieh]

Thanks for the lovely photos - it is great that Socks and Lola sound as if they will indeed be friends.

I have no experience of little boys and I expect that it will be hard to get him to moderate his behaviour around Lola. The best thing will be just to make sure that she has plenty of escape routes and high up places she can go to get out of his way for the time being.

[dandysmom]

Loud little children can be intimidating to anyone not used to their exuberance! I suspect Lola will adapt after a bit, but it's a shame she's scared now. Possibly seeing that Socks doesn't fear him might help ... ???Lovely to see them ... thanks!