Help Koko has got worse

[smokytopaz]

Today she deposited a large smelly present in my bed... I think because I was sitting having a cuppa within 5 feet although round the corner of her favourite litter tray. There is another one, further away and there was noone else in the house.



If I try to catch her, she gets upset so I stopped trying. About ten days ago. I found myself looking up cat traps and cages today - oh surely not!

Please please help!

[Mags]

Poor Koko sounds a frightened little kitten.. can I ask where you got her from?

The important thing is for you to stay calm around her (difficult as that may seem at the moment)....she will pick up on any stress you show and withdraw further from you if you don't. Try sitting quietly on the floor, not paying too much attention to her at first, talk quietly to her but don't attempt to touch her yet.....let her come to you.

It may take quite a while for you to gain her trust as she sounds very nervous. Have patience with her and don't try to do to much too soon.

I hope things will gradually start to improve soon....

[Moli]

Can I ask how old she is???

[smokytopaz]

She was born on 21 Aug which makes her 18 or 19 weeks old.

!!Thats really strange I was sitting quietly here reading the posts when I turned round to look at the calender and she was sitting right behind me, when I turned she flew!!!

I got her from a breeder. There were other kittens playing in the room, I did hold her before I paid for her. She is healthy, she is growing, but she is very very nervous. I must admit I was so delighted after months of searching to find a havan brown I wasn't really thinking of anything else. I so want her just to relax and accept being loved and spoilt.

This is a quiet house, apart from the radios and TV, just me and my elderly mother.

[smokytopaz]

I'm not exactly young either when I think of it.

[Mags]

I'm sure in time she will learn to settle.

One toy that will get a kitten interested is a play rod with a feather or a toy on the end ......I've yet to hear of a kitten/cat that can resist playing with that.. You could also try rolling up a small ball of paper and throwing it towards her, that may also get her interest

[dandysmom]

I'm beginning to wonder if she was really properly socialized as a kitten; she does seem extremely nervous and unusually wary of people . This must be so disheartening for you; all I can say is keep doing what you've been doing, let her take her own time, and try not to let her feel your stress. I've never had this problem with a kitten; one adult I rehomed hid for 3 days, but came around. Have you tried tempting her with bits of food like ham that we discussed before?

[Moli]

It does sound as if she has not been socialised with everyday things, and has depended on her liter mates....i am sure with patience she will come round...I have a foster kitten here who was a bit frightened, but slowely she is now coming to me and letting me pet her....

[random]

Just patience patience patience i'm afraid. She might be a cat that doesn't like fuss but whatever the case, she will turn out a lot better than she is now, it will just take time. How long have you had her?

The fact you turned round and she was behind you says she is starting to come out when you are there and explore. My Siamese was a very nervous kitten. You will find that she comes out a lot more when you are not there, so as soon as she is 100% confident with her new surroundings then she will start to feel safe and become more confident around you too.

What not to do is pander to her. Leave her food out in an open space so she has to come out to get it, don't be tempted to encourage her to hide away by putting it behind a sofa or something.

[dinahsmum]

What a sad situation - I feel sorry for all concerned.

I think you have had some good advice, particularly from Random, who says don't pander to her nervouseness - try to treat her as normally as possible.

I've got several ideas in my head, so excuse me if I jot them in note form, rather than try to write beautiful prose.

1. Is she confined to a small area - to allow her to get used to one place and to prevent her taking off and hiding? I think the ideal would be a largish dog crate with a comfortable bed and a blanket/box to get into for security. However, that would mean catching her, so there would be a degree of stress to that. Is she just in one room? She should be. Can you change the room a little, to restrict where she can go and prevent her hiding completely?

2. Can you get her used to everyday things happening, just by making them happen? Leave the radio playing throughout the day, with voices rather than music. Open and shut the door lots of times. Speak to your mum, speak to the cat.

3. I expect you've already got a Feliway. Try the pheremone thing a bit more by putting a hankie or similar in her bed, let her sleep on it for 24 hours then take the cloth and rub it round the walls and furniture at the level of her nose. Makes the place seem more 'hers'. Ideally you would do this by rubbing the cloth on her 'eyebrows' where she has most scent glands but I don't think that is a go-er at the moment.

4. Look at the Feliway handling spray - supposed to be more for 'crisis use' than the diffuser. It might calm her

5. The poop present is a definite sign of stress. Try not to let it stress you. Try not to let it anger you - nothing she does is out of 'spite' to you - she's in a situation she can't cope with.

6. Have you contacted the breeder? Have you considered asking the breeder to take her back? Hold it in the back of your mind that this might be the best solution for all. It's not failure - just pragmatism. Maybe if she went back to the breeder she could restore her self confidence.

7. Another, bright, bold kitten as company? Very drastic and by no means guaranteed.

8. Be patient. Hopefully in a few months you will be able to look back and laugh at the teething problems.

9. Read Cat Confidential by Vicky Halls. She's very good at cat psychology and might help give you an insight.

10. Stick around - there's always someone here to share your woes with.

Good luck