Can I take advantage of everyones great relationship advice?

random · 16-05-2007, 11:42 PM

I have asked on Dogsey too but I wanted to ask here as I got such great advice on my own relationship, I just wanted to know what you guys thought of this.

Basically a very good friend of mine knew a girl some years ago, who he nearly had a relationship with. They both fancied each other (that sounds so schoolgirl! lol) and got on well but were too shy for one reason or another to make a go of things right away, and before it could progress any futher, thinking she was only a friend, he started seeing someone else. In doing this he broke her heart and didn't see her for some years.

Now they have recently came back in contact again, and some people think she still has feelings for him. In an email she said she was gutted she'd missed the boat, and that she still really liked him, he was looking good and he still makes her laugh as he always did.

Now as a woman I think she's trying to tell him how she still feels, but obviously she's afraid of being rejected by him for a second time. But he is having none of it and will not believe she wants to be anything but friends. Also when they chat she is very 'touchy feely', but then some people are like that anyway I guess, but it's just another factor. The atmosphere is awkward now between them and i've said they need to sit down and have a proper chat about everything and it might make things easier when everything is out in the open, no hidden feelings. He's even afraid to call her on the phone over business stuff, and he doesn't know why!

So what do you guys think? Just by going on the 'story so far', and mainly what she said in her email, do you think she still has feelings, or just wants to be friends?

Thanx guys! I know it's kinda vague to go off but any advice is welcome.

dreams · 17-05-2007, 01:03 AM

I think she still has feelings for him.
They should both take the chance of getting together as their could always be 'if i only said this' 'if i only done that'
if you catch my drift..

Life is very short and they should go or it if the guy likes her too.
Its lovely they have got back in contact.
Some people never get a second chance.

Good luck
xx

dinahsmum · 17-05-2007, 08:09 AM

I've read it twice but couldn't work out if either party is married/committed now? If yes, then I think they should stay arms length and business level only.
If they're both free - go for it. She must accept that he may have changed and doesn't see her in 'that' light any more. He may not want to take the relationship to another level, so she must be mature and strong enough to accept that and not fall apart at being 'rejected' for a second time.
He must accept from the start that she is looking to be more than just good friends. Some men are frightened by commitment.

Hope it works out.

charliebubs · 17-05-2007, 10:48 AM

I agree with DM in that I couldn't tell whether they were both still single or not

It does sound like she might still have feelings though, but be afraid of getting hurt again.

Either way - they should probably talk about what happened and clear the air.

random · 17-05-2007, 11:14 AM

Sorry I should have said, they are both free.

Thanx guys, exactly what I thought really, he just won't listen!

Mags · 17-05-2007, 11:55 AM

Roughly what ages are they Random?

I would say she still has feelings for him....but is it feelings of what might have been? The only way to find out is for them to go out together, on their own or as a foursome (which might take some of the pressure off).

They are both maturer now than they were a few years ago, if there is a spark still there, that spark may now ignite. They need to talk, that way each can convey their thoughts to the other.

Good luck to them, please let us know what happens Random!

Ooh..I feel like Marge Proops!!

random · 17-05-2007, 12:05 PM

He's 40 she's in her early 30's I think.

Thanx guys i'll keep you posted if anything does happen. It's been some time now though so I wouldn't hole your breath.

CathyW · 17-05-2007, 03:39 PM

def sounds like she has feelings for him, couldnt u *arrange* an accidental meeting of the 2.and maybe give them the nudge they clearly need.
good luck n keep us informed (not that im nosey or anthing LOL)

Kim · 17-05-2007, 05:32 PM

If they are both free I would say go for it! Life is too short for regrets.

Animagus · 18-05-2007, 01:07 PM

why dont you arrange a wee get together without either of them knowing the other is gonna be there... then ig you have a room you can corner them in together get them in there and lock them in while you go and relax and watch a movie lol.... make them talk

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