*Apologies for the length, got a bit carried away. Think writing this was a bit like therapy for me*
24/08/2007, you arrived, and you were gorgeous. I'd been counting down the days for weeks and you were finally here. You were scared for a little while, but you soon settled in. Infact, I was more scared of you. It had been a while since we had had a kitten in the house, and I had forgotten how playful they were. I spent the first few nights in the spare room, scared you were going to get my feet. I soon fell in love with you though, I adored you. We laughed at your cute little meow, barely a cry, more of a croak, so sweet! For the first few days you were simply named 'cat'. If my memory serves me right, I think you also spet a day of been Lola. Finally though we settled on a name, Lexi it was. Perfect name for a perfect cat.
Here you are after just arriving at your new home, looking beautiful as always.
We had so many laughs in those first few months. Getting home to find you on top of the bookcase, or finding you asleep on top of the printer. You also developed a love of scratching the walls, which didn't impress my mum and dad all that much but I didn't mind. I don't think there's anything you could have done to make me fall out with you. Even when you ripped my hand to shreads the time Maddy spooked you it only took two minutes for you to get round me, and I was cuddling and kissing you again. How could anyone not fall in love with someone as cute as you eh?
It was eventually time to start letting you outside. I was so protective over you. Pickles and Marmalade had been run over outside and I was determined not to let the same thing happen to you. For a good few weeks you were only allowed out on your harness, and only whilst I was sat there watching over you. Eventually, I was persuaded to let you loose. You loved it. You would chase Billy the rabbit up and down, then he would chase you and you would run off, scared, eventhough you was twice the size of him. Then you would start winding Maddy, the german shepard, up too. You rarely left the garden, you was just happy to get a bit of fresh air. This was until we got new neighbours, who had cats. You quickly made friends, and started to venture into their garden, and a little bit further too. I was so paranoid at first, but eventually got used to it, I was always able to find you.
We had so much fun together, especially playing fetch. It was your favourite game. You would much rather play with a scrunched up sweet paper than any of your toys. You would play for ages. And you were always there for me. If me and Daryl had some daft argument and I was upset you would come and give me a cuddle. Every night when I got a bath I would say to you 'Are you coming' and you would cry back then go running to the bathroom. You would sit on the edge of the bath, dipping your tail in the water, then jumping off and chase your tail, splashing water everywhere. I could always rely on you, more than any human. You loved me unconditionally, and I loved you too.
07/2008 it was time for our Summer holidays. I had been dreading it to be honest. I was dreading the thought of leaving you. Although I knew you would be well looked after by my mum and dad, I knew how much I would missed you. I cried as I said goodbye to you. I spent the full holiday talking and thinking about you. We were constantly on the look out for 'Lexi-cats', trying to find ones that looked just like you. We saw you on the webcam, my dad made you wave to us. I couldn't wait to get back to see you. Apparently you sulked for the full two weeks we were away, I think you thought we were gone for good. I would never leave you though. I had it all planned out. You were going to be here for a good twenty years. You were going to be my kids first pet.
In October when I had the flu you looked after me. One night in particular when I was feeling really poorly and sorry for myself you never left my side. All night long you were there laying next to me, my gorgeous little girl. I knew I could rely on you.
Dress-up Lexi. Oh how you hated me for doing this.
On the 01/11/2008, me and Daryl were looking after the house. You came in the sitting room as we watched X Factor and ate our tea. It was just perfect, the perfect Saturday night for me. You jumped up next to us, waiting for a bit of sausage. You loved human food didn't you. McDonalds was a recent discovery of yours. And you always came running the moment my spoon hit my cerial dish for whatever milk I had left. That night you slept on my belly, all night long. You were been super cuddly that weekend. Maybe you knew what was going to happen next.
On 03/11/2008 you woke us up crying to go out. I did my usual, crying back to you, mocking your cute little meow. We let you out for a couple of hours, but made sure you was back in before we went out. Daryl and I had been saying just the day before how we needed to make sure you was in earlier now the clocks had changed and it was getting darker earlier. When we was out though, my mum had got home from work, and you sneaked out, you cheeky monkey. I got home from Uni at half 5, and there you were, stood on the wall, winding Maddy up as usual. You rangoff though before I had chance to bring you in. You wanted more playtime. Nevermind, you would soon be home for tea.
It got to about 9pm and I started to worry. I looked in all your usual haunts, the tenfoot, nextdoors garden. I must have checked the garage and shed 20 times. You had done that a few times before, ran in when no one was looking and got stuck in there. I was out at midnight, tapping your food. My dad checked again at three for you, still nothing. I got up at 5, nothing. My mum and dad got up for work soon after, but you were nowhere to be seen. I was getting really worried by this time, and got Daryl to go round a couple of hours later to help look for you. He looked everywhere. We decided to make some flyers, a little soon perhaps, but we knew it was unlike you to not come home for tea. You had never done it before. This was the first night I had spent without you. We posted the flyers, rang round all the local vets, RSPCA and Cat Protection. Nobody could help. I wasn't hysterical yet, I really thought you were locked in somebodies garage or something like that. But when somebody rang us saying they had seen a cat like the one in the picture on the flyer get run over the night before my heart sank. They told us the woman across the road had taken her in. We never even thought to post flyers across there. You never, ever went over there Lexi. You were scared of the busy road. From what we can gather you were chasing nextdoors cat across the road. That sounds like you, always playing. The lady looked at a photo of you and was pretty sure it was you that had been run over, but unfortunately you had died. I couldn't stop crying, you had gone.
The council had collected your tiny body from her house. They brought you back to us in a yellow carried bag. How disgusting is that. My little baby in a rubbish bag. I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it happening. Daryl and I cried, and cried, and cried. It took me a few hours to pluck up the courage to look at you, but when I did, you were still my beautiful gorgeous girl, you just looked like you were asleep, barely a mark on you, just a little blood. That though is the image that will live with me for a long time.
We buried you next to Pickles, with your favourite toys, and treats. We put a couple of scrunched up pieces of paper and hair bobbles in there for you to play fetch too. We also put in the collar my mum and dad had got you for christmas.
It's been a month today my beautiful girl since you left me, and I'm totally broken without my little baby. I miss you so much. I am so so sorry for what happened to you. I think about it all day, every day. I feel so guilty. It's very quiet without you Lexi. I miss your cuddles. I've been cuddling your Patrick teddy every night since you left me. Your fur is still all over him. It's still not the same though. I'm on my own all night tonight for the first time since you left me and I'm missing you more than ever. The christmas tree went up today, and you're not here to try and pull it down. I hate it. I hate it that your not here to chase my wrappers. I cry every single day for you, I feel constantly sick. I can't believe your never going to come home.
You were the most beautiful, perfect little cat Lexi and you did not deserve to go. I hope you realise how loved you were, and although your life was short, I hope it was full of fun, sleep and lots of cuddles and kisses.
RIP my little Lexi cat. I hope Pickles and Marmalade are looking after you wherever you are.
