Dreams About Tiger..

[Darky]

For those who don't know, my cat Tiger had to be put to sleep due to an inoperable tumour in her mouth before I joined this forum. That was around a year and a half ago.

It took months for me to be able to think about her without crying my eyes out.

About a month ago I was in London with my fiance and a friend and we were joking about how nothing upsets me and he said, "I know something that would upset you, but it's too mean to say."
I thought it'd be something silly so I made him say it. "Your cat died."
I just burst into tears outside the Ritz Hotel. O_o

Well, I constantly dream about her. She is in most of my dreams somewhere, lurking around. However, I also have a lot of nightmares about her.
I often have dreams that she'll appear but then another identical cat will appear, and I won't know which one is really her, and I wake up so anxious and upset.
I always dream that she didn't really get put to sleep, and that she's always been alive out there somewhere and I'm horrible for not finding her and bringing her home.

The other night I had a terrible nightmare. She appeared in my sister's bedroom and was dying (in a very horrific, graphic manner unrelated to her actual death - I won't go into detail as it is vert upsetting). I just held onto her for ages until she slowly passed away.

I don't think that I'm ever going to get over her death. :C I have her ashes and a little photo of her always on my desk.

I just... No cat can ever compare to her.

[meep]

Oh Darky, I am sorry to hear of how upset you are over Tiger, and the awful nightmares you've been having *hugs*

That was very cruel of your friend, and in the same situation I would have reacted the same way. No one should ever joke about death, whether it be of a human or beloved pet. Non-pet owners just don't understand the incredibly close bond we can have with ours pets, as you and Tiger have.

It really does sound iike you're having an incredibly hard time coming to peace with the situation, and I actually just spotted on another forum a charity dedicated to helping bereaved pet owners, I'll go and hunt it down and then post it here. It is wholly natural to grieve as you are, but that you are suffering nightmares for poor Tiger is not a good situation, and she wouldn't want you to be as upset as you are

I suffered something similar with my mum's horse. When my parents split up we sold our house, and with it my mum's thoroughbread that she used to ride. He was the gentlest, most wonderful boy ever, but neither my mum or dad could afford to keep him. We sold him in, and long story short, 2 months later he had been put to sleep after a series of terrible, painful afflictions (collic etc.) I can't remember details but in the end he collapsed on his legs, couldn't stand up again and had to be shot

For months after I had dreams that I was back in my old house, and would visit him in the stable and give him carrots and blow on his nose. It still makes me well up to think of what an awful end he came to, but the dreams did go away eventually; but my memory of him never has.

Sorry for the tangent; what I'm trying to say is I think, if it really is affecting you so badly, maybe you should seek some professional help. No one can judge you for it; it is your emotions, your feeling and only you can understand exactly how you feel and why.

I hope you keep your chin up and manage a smile when thinking of Tiger and the wonderful times you shared together *hugs*

[meep]

Here's the link to the thread that dinahsmum started, which looks like a very helpful service:

http://www.catsey.com/showthread.php...237#post507237

[dandysmom]

Darky, I'm so sorry to hear that you're still grieving so much; that was excellent advice from meep and I do hope you'll act on it....(((hugs)))

[Kazz]

Its terrible when you have had a cat put to sleep. It breaks your heart.I had my Oscar PTS aged 23 years & 4 months and Cleo his sister PTS aged a week short of her 25th year.Yes its upsetting; Yes I have dreamt of them; Yes I think of them often.However I also know as you do really you did the right thing for your cat. You love Tiger but you also wanted her to know no pain, no discomfort, no unhappiness and by having her PTS you did those three with stars and bells on. Didn't you? Therefore you showed the world you loved your cat more than you needed her to stay with you? because to stay would mean "discomfort/unhappiness; for her and the same for you. Because you would not want her to be in any discomfort or to be unsettled would you; Cats live in the moment and she TRUSTED YOU....and you repayed that trust by letting her be pain/discomfort free when the time was right. NO one can do more for their animals and your love for her ultimately proved to be the truest as you thought more of her needs than your own...that my friend is true love.....and because of that you hurt and because of that you always will. But the best thing is she doesn't...and she doesn't because you made the right descision...and for that she would say Thank you. I know its heartbreaking and upsetting but at the end of the day she was a cat, and I think you have to take it in that persepective....hopefuly you will move on and the memories will become nice ones...mine are because I know they are pain free young and healthy again. Take care

[Mags]

Lovely reply Kazz....from someone who knows what it's like and has been through it twice...

[angieh]

I am very sorry to read your post Darky. Of course you did the best possible thing for Tiger but it's those nightmares that need to be dealt with. I hope that you will follow up on meep's advise and contact the Blue Cross service. I do think that you need to have some counselling to get rid of those nightmares. Tiger would not want you to be suffering so I am sure.