A difficult step

smokytopaz · 20-02-2009, 08:54 PM

Patience is everything, but as Koko had got used to her environment, knew where to pee, knew food was there, possibly was beginning to accept me I decided one of us had to make the first move. Only time will tell if it was right.

I closed off her escape routes. I slowly forced her into a non escapable corner. Then I stroked and scratched her head and forced her to accept being touched (her BIG no no). I talked to her all the time, then after about five minutes I opened a door into her favourite place and walked away.

So am I going to be wrong? She looked like the cat in Shrek, flattened ears, huge black eyes but she didn't try to escape or bite me.

She may never talk to me again.

And that is the problem, she is sleeping all day and wandering about all night, playing and also yelling - not in heat yelling but lonely yelling. She so does not have to be.

Its like having a new baby except I can't stick a bottle in her mouth and shut her up that way!

Poor wee Koko, nothing to be afraid of and yet she is so scared!

dandysmom · 20-02-2009, 09:29 PM

Hard to say. I've never had a timid/wary kitten so don't know what I"d do in those circumstances. How did she act after the petting session ...? Will she play with things like the feather on a stick, or chase balls....might try romping before bedtime if she'd go along with it; tire her out a bit, also perhaps a small midnight snack. Leia sleeps all night, but the romp and food worked with my boys who tended to get active in the night. Just a thought.

smokytopaz · 20-02-2009, 09:35 PM

Well the petting session was about an hour ago, she retreated under the bed, and I left her there. Normally she will chase things on elastic, her best fav is an oversized marble, which at the moment is lost but I will find it, she was doing everything except allowing me to touch her. Which I need to be able to do. (Vet etc) If she is not a cuddly cat so be it, but I have to be able to pick her up without her having a total panic attack.

Moli · 20-02-2009, 09:50 PM

Have you tried shutting her in somewhere at night.....That way she will sleep, and be more alert during the day...Although being Siamese she will probably complain very loudly!!

farthing · 20-02-2009, 11:14 PM

I have always made a point of handling animals when they are scared. Lots of people think you should let them come to you, but some may never choose to do that. I never force it for long but do it every day, some like Mustard never come to enjoy it, but it allows me to handle them and they won't totally freak out. It is now paying off as he needs to be given tablets every 2 days, and without initial handling it would have been even more stressful for me and him.

smokytopaz · 20-02-2009, 11:26 PM

Oh thankyou Farthing, because that is my current plan, she may never love it but in order to facilitate the necessary things' she is going to have to learn that I am going to handle her and she will have to do things she doesn't always like.

She has come out from under the sofa and has been munching treats from my fingers so she doesn't hate me that much.

Or of course she really loves these treats. (they are weird sticks semi moist that stink to me but are delicious to her!)

Oddly no vocals.

dinahsmum · 21-02-2009, 02:19 PM

It sounds to me as though you are doing the right thing.
You are right about needing to be used to being handled, even if she never gets to actually enjoy it (I hope she does!). It could save her life at some point in the future and will certainly make routine fleaing and worming much less stressful
Good luck

calismum · 21-02-2009, 08:58 PM

Think you are doing absolutely fine with her. Little bit at a time.

smokytopaz · 21-02-2009, 11:19 PM

Well, tonight I am so sad for her. She spent two hours stuffed into a tiny corner because she thought I was going to try and touch her again.

When I saw where she was I thought I would just turn off the light, and go away into another room with my dinner and leave her to calm down and go find her dinner.

She was still there two hours later.

I have a feeling this little girl is not going to settle.

She is behaving like a feral cat. She has no trust at all, even after six weeks.

She played happily this morning for a couple of hours then she went off to sleep, I went out and the next time I saw her she behaved as if I was a total stranger.

Now what?

I am just going to ignore her completely tonight, and let her calm down. She is frightening herself, for there is nothing to fear from me.

dandysmom · 22-02-2009, 12:45 AM

This is so sad. I've been following Koko's story since you first posted; seems for a bit that she's getting better, then regresses. Have you talked to her breeder? Are the other kittens in that litter well socialized? That is just heartbreaking that she shrunk away from you like that in fear of being handled again....

I really have no ideas; sure you've used Feliway and Bach's Rescue Remedy; have you considered adopting another kitten about her age who's very social and people oriented? Don't know if that would make it better or worse?

All I can say at this point is (((hugs)))

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