Aghh friends who needs 'em?

[Kazz]

Sometimes have you ever wished you had fast forward in real life? Tonight I do then I would be prepared for the situation I may find myself in tomorrow.
About three weeks ago I popped Sal on her lead and took her a quick stroll round the block, saw a jogger and it was a friend of mine, well he is the husband of a good friend of mine. I have never seen him round my way but seem he has a new route taking in a hill. He asked how I was etc etc, we walked a bit talked a bit and as we were going our own ways – he much faster than me – he said “The break seems to have done you good” I said “yeah, but I don’t recommended it as a way to have time off” thinking he meant the break from work i.e. being off from the surgery. He said “No the spa break with Jane” At that point thankfully another dog walker my next door neighbour but one joined us from other direction and the conversation stopped.
I have not been on a spa break as you know. Now I did wonder if he had mixed me up with some other friend but knew he hadn’t I mean he knew about my Op etc - I left it.

Last week I went out for lunch with a friend of mine (who does not know Jane) to a quiet pub well off the beaten track as she is a mystery shopper and gets assignments and free lunches, anyway while there surprise surprise Jane popped out of the loo, before I could say Hello, she stepped sideward’s and used her phone (maybe text) then waved to me and came over – something was not right. The waitress came over and we parted, Jane left we went to be seated from where we were sitting we saw Jane get in her car and drive off then stop on the main road and a man get into her car. Now I got a text at the weekend from Jane asking me out for a drink/meal...........I did not reply.
Since then I have had a couple of friend’s text me and ask what was wrong between me and Jane....now I have not spoken to Jane, so I laughed it off and said “rubbish.” Since then bumped into a few people and it seems I have fallen out with Jane. She is telling people, this.
So here I am trying to decide if to speak to Jane face to face. I was not interested in her life – or likely to involve myself but seems she has other ideas about dragging me in. I have had a conversation with her on the phone tonight, we are meeting tomorrow.
Hence the fast forward because then I would not be thinking my friend has used me a "decoy" re the spa and what/who else...angry was a point I reached about an hour ago after putting down the phone lord knows where I will be by tomorrow in orbit possibly. FRIENDS. Huh

Edited to say Jane is not her real name -and we are not friends who lunch/work together but have known each other quite a while. Aghhhh.

[alexgirl73]

oh dear!!! Not a nice situation to find yourself in at all Karen. Like you I would be furious to find out that I had been used in such a manner, and of course you'll feel awkward if you meet her hub by on your walks again. I have no advice to give, just hope you get something sorted out.

[angieh]

Not a nice situation - seems your "friend" has dumped you in as an alibi and now has the front to tell others that you've fallen out. I'd take her name off your C*******s card list. Hope that you don't get in a lather today. Keep calm, I know you will. She's in the wrong.

[Kazz]

I am hoping that I have put 2 and 2 together and made 7.

[PoshPuss]

How awkward for you Kazz. It seems that you were a named decoy for the 'spa trip' and now her lies may be unravelling. Again, like the girls I don't know how to advise you on this one but I'd be wary of getting involved her personal life and tell her so. Good luck. x

[dandysmom]

How difficult. Do let us know what happens at lunch......

[Kim]

Such a difficult awkward situation. Not nice of her to use you as an excuse for whatever she may be doing. Hope you get it sorted.

[Kazz]

Still taking deep cleansing breaths.

[yola]

So did you have your lunch date with your friend? What did she say?

What a strange situation - she must be very desperate to use a friend as such an excuse without checking it's OK to do so first.

I can't pass judgement because I did the same almost 20 years ago when I first started seeing OH. But I did OK the scenario with the relative whom I was using as an alibi prior to embarking. It's only fair to ask.

[Kazz]

Well here goes its worse actually than I thought....I had not seen/spoken since seeing her husband. he told her he had seen me when out running and I looked okay. Anyhow this "bad mouthing me" appears to have started since seeing her in the pub. She had no idea I saw her pick up a man in the car. I did not mention this....she apologised for bad mouthing me. I accepted the apology and thought better out of this and left it, did not say anything about the "spa" the chap getting into her car nothing. Not my business, so I just pointed out I was not happy about being spoken of in a bad way, and would not tolerate being used in any way at all, which I admit made her squirm slightly, as she had no idea I "knew" about the spa thing. Unfair maybe but I did not want to be involved.

My intention was not to cause a fallout or stress her or anything. Just to walk away from the "friendship" and keep her at arms length in future. Figuring I had stated my case and she knows me well enough to take notice. But she also knows would not cause trouble for her or run to her husband, hence I assume why she used me.


Anyhow this went good till we were almost leaving when a good friend (GF) of ours came into the pub, (I know wonder if they all saunter around in pubs while I am in work normaly) anyhow GF was with her husband toddler son, MIL& FIL we exchanged "nicities" hubby was off with me which was odd as we have got on since school, they all found a seat and we 3 stayed chatting for a few moments. I was going but GF walked out to my car with me, it appears Jane has told quite a few friends that I was her cover for this affair as "hubby" would never suspect I could not be trusted and GF said it was so unlike me she was shocked to the core. GF's husband knows hence why he was off with me.

I was so upset I sat in my car and cried, GF was beside herself at believing Jane and not contacting me but she did not want anything to do with it. I can see her point, now I wonder how many other people believe I am involved in this dishonesty. GF said she will tell her hubby.......its all lies.

This afternoon I spoke to my ex Dave he knows them all too, he plays/played golf with Jane's husband in the past and regularly see's GF's husband they support the Villa. I asked him what he knew he said nothing. He was angry beyond belief on my behalf. When I calmed down I went round to Janes and told her in no uncertain terms that I was not happy and that I expected her to contact everyone she told (Lord knows why she told anyone when she wanted to keep it a secret) I was her cover it was a lie. Straight out lie. I did not care what she did but involving me was not only dishonest but a stain on my character and I would not tolerate it.

You know what she said are you going to tell my husband....."Aghhhh" why would I do that. I just want her to .......oh I don't know....... she can't put it right.
It appears the "affair" has broken up. And now she has lost a friend.