Think before you speak

[Elaine]

Think before you speak.

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -the last one is great!


> > > > > >Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
> > > > > >immediately take the words back...
> > > > > >Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

> > > > > >FIRST TESTIMONY:


> > > > > >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
> > > > > >three kids in tow and asked loudly,
> > > > > >"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
> > > > > >I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
> > > > > >My husband didn't say a word...
> > > > > >he knew better.


> > > > > >SECOND TESTIMONY:

> > > > > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> > > > > >I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> > > > > >After browsing for several minutes,
> > > > > >I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
> > > > > >who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
> > > > > >Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
> > > > > >"I think I like playing with men's balls."


> > > > > >THIRD TESTIMONY:


> > > > > >My sister and I were at the mall and
> > > > > >passed by a store that sold a
> > > > > >variety of candy and nuts.
> > > > > >As we were looking at the display case,
> > > > > >the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
> > > > > >I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
> > > > > >My sister started to laugh hysterically.
> > > > > >The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> > > > > >To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


> > > > > >FOURTH TESTIMONY:

> > > > > >While in line at the bank one afternoon,
> > > > > >my toddler decided to release
> > > > > >some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> > > > > >I was finally able to grab hold of
> > > > > >her after receiving looks of disgust
> > > > > >and annoyance from other patrons.
> > > > > >I told her that if she did not start behaving
> > > > > >"right now" she would be punished.
> > > > > >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
> > > > > >said in a voice just as threatening,
> > > > > >"If you don't let me go right now,
> > > > > >I will tell Grandma that I saw you
> > > > > >kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
> > > > > >The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> > > > > >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
> > > > > >I mustered up the last of my dignity and
> > > > > >walked out of the bank with
> > > > > my daughter in tow.
> > > > > >The last thing I heard as
> > > > > >the door closed behind me,
> > > > > >were screams of laughter.


> > > > > >FIFTH TESTIMONY:


> > > > > >Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> > > > > >My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
training and I was on him constantly.
> > > > > >One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
> > > > > >in between errands.
> > > > > >It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> > > > > >While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
> > > > > >so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
> > > > > >and she was clean.
> > > > > >Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
> > > > > >I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
> > > > > >I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
> > > > > >and I don't have any clean clothes with me."
> > > > > >Then I said, "Danny,
> > > > >are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> > > > > >"No," he replied.
> > > > > >I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
> > > > > >because the smell was getting worse.
> > > > > >So, I asked one more time,
> > > > > >"Danny, did you have an accident?"
> > > > > >This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> > > > > >bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
> > > > > >"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
> > > > > >he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> > > > > >An older couple made me feel better,
> > > > > >thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

> > > > > >LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
> > > > > >

> > > > > >This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
> > > > > >and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
> > > > > >in the future, likely think before she speaks.
> > > > > >What happens when you predict
> > > > > snow, but don't get any?
> > > > > >We had a female news anchor who,
> > > > > >the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> > > > > >turned to the weatherman and asked:
> > > > > >"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
> > > > > >Not only did HE have to leave the set,
> > > > > >but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh,
and remember...
we all say things we don't really mean,so think before you speak

[Donna]

That was funny!!!! Thanks for posting!!

[Naomi]

loved the last one that was brilliant!!!