Problems at school.....what do you think??

[aliwin]

Am I being naive???

Ok brief background, my son is 13 and doing well at school, sitting his first GSCE this year. When I went to parents evening in February I saw all his subject teachers who said his behaviour is impeccable and he is well manored and a pleasure to teach. At the end I saw his form tutor who said she had a complaint from another teacher not involved with my son who was claiming he was bullying other students. No students have complained. She said she was suprised to hear this too. So I gave him a lecture about how his actions could be perceived etc etc. Nothing else until yesterday I get a phonecall saying he is involved in bullying a boy with special needs However, said child is the one who is extremely violent in class to pupils and teachers alike. Again no complaint from pupil or parents from said same teacher. But no excuses for my son's alleged behaviour from me.

Spoke to son who says the technician who is making these allegations has threatened that he will not allow him to use the equipment he needs to pass his GCSE and has thrown things at him in the classroom.

Ok I now don't know what to believe! I've been given no reason by my son to think he is lying and surely someone else in the school would have noticed his bullying behaviour? But then why would a person in a position of responsibility do this????

Opinions welcome before I meet with them at 8.30 tomorrow!!

[yola]

OK, this is my tuppence worth (for what it's worth). You probably know your son better than anyone . . . everyone who actually knows him says how well mannered he is. So, I would err on the side of caution and trust your son.

Having said that, I would not go in guns blazing tomorrow but instead carefully listen to what is being said and see if you can find any immediate cracks or contractions in what you are being told.

Don't acuse, don't kick off but if possible take an independent witness with you who can just observe and who isn't emotionally involved. Also don't agree to anything there and then, instead advise that you need to consider what has been said and then discuss everything with your son and get both sides of the story.

Just as a balance; our art school technician was a complete wierdo and used to organize illegal dog fights and was permanently drunk. Remember, just because he works for the school doesn't mean he's whiter than white.

[Shelley123]

Oh dear aliwin i don't envy you.
Yola has given you good advice about taking someone else with you if possible and also about keeping calm (easier said than done , i know )
It seems very strange that no one else has noticed or said anything. Could you perhaps approach the other childs parents if neccesary ?
How can this technician deny your son the use of equipment?
Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow and hope things are resolved.

[aliwin]

Thanks ladies, well I have been to the school this morning and met with the deputy head, head of development and the technician who has reported the issues. Was nice and calm and listened to what they said. All my son's teachers were emailed yesterday, at my request, to see if there were other issues that I am not aware of. There are none, lovely boy doing well was all that came back. The boy in question is being teased by the entire class not just my son. I queried with them that if the behaviour is on this scale then maybe as a school they are handling the issue all wrong. Last year this boy was making my son's life a misery and I had to visit school a couple of times on his behalf. I am afraid that I think the worm has turned. The head of dev took me to one side after the others had left and said she agreed 100% with what I had said.

But I am not sure what to do about this technician now. He states he has no issue with my son etc and that he is there for all the kids, however, he quite clearly does have. I know my child and I know this guy is lying. I didn't say anything there and then as I need to check a couple of events with my son first. But surely in a school other people would have noticed this behaviour other than this one technician? All these trained professionals and they don't see it????

The school do not see that my son's behaviour has required any punishment or further action, other than I should be aware.

Have a bad feeling about this technician but not sure what to do. I feel I need to make a complaint which I don't wish him to be there for so I can explain fully without him butting in. I don't want to cause a fuss but he needs to get off my son's case.

ARGHHHH, thanks for listening to the ramblings Please add your opinion good or bad if you have one!!!!

[yola]

That's a good result.

Re the technician, I would discuss this with your son and see what he thinks. Does he feel the situation may resolve itself in time?

If not, then you should make a formal written complaint to explain that you feel there is a personal victimisation circumstance against your son which might risk his education. If unsure run it by citizen's advice or a solicitor prior to sending. I would ensure it's marked confidential and make it clear that you don't want the content of your complaint discussed without you being present.

[Shelley123]

aliwin, the first thing i would do would be to request a private meeting with the head to discuss your concerns re the technician.

[aliwin]

Well I have spoken to my boy again tonight about what happened at the meeting. The latest accusation that the technician made is completely fabricated as far as he is concerned.

He says the technician has threatened him on at least 5 occassions that he will not allow him to use the laser cutting equipment to complete his GCSE work and that he will get him thrown off the course too. It now transpires that he has not been allowed to do the extra work as his behaviour isn't up to standard, decided by the DT teacher because of what the technician has told him.

I don't feel this will resolve and I do feel that my son is being unfairly treated. I think that if I make an appt with the head and relay all this to her maybe it can be nipped in the bud before I go to an official letter. Mmmmmm it's doing my head in now!!!

[Kim]

I work in a High School (11-14) and I think that the technicians' behaviour is totally out of order! He should not be able to withhold equipment unless your son is misusing it, which he clearly is not. He cannot get him thrown off the course either. I would definitely have a word with the Pastoral Head or Curriculum Leader for ADT. We have several SEN pupils at our school and they can be difficult for other pupils to work with due to their often complex needs. Good luck! As Yola says, you know your son best.

[Shelley123]

If your son has not been allowed to do the extra work surely school should have informed you.