Joke of the Day (posted for Dandysmom)

[Mags]

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

[Mags]

...... brilliant Eileen!!

[charliebubs]

Hee hee hee!!!!

Thanks for sharing that - it's made my afternoon!!!

[logoes]

Well I'll just try - what was it 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9. I wonder what I did that for ???????? Perhaps I will remember sometime 9-9-9-9-9-9 or maybe not Logoes

[dinahsmum]

Nice one!

[Naomi]

Haha brilliant!

[alexgirl73]

LOL very funny!

[Fran]

Brilliant Eileen!

[yola]

Superb!!!

[dandysmom]

Mags, thanks for posting!!! I can't take credit for this one, a buddy of mine e-mailed it to me & I thought it was funny enough to share!