Rambling Vent

[Tink]

2 days till K's surgery. (Wed AM)
There is so much to do in so little time and I'm stressin.
I'm running out of money, my mom is coming for moral support but she also has requirements of things she needs in the fridge, the interior of my car has to be clean, netflix requests, the bath has to be scrubbed to her approval because she doesn't take showers, etc. etc. I know it's a small price to pay, just any little thing is stressing me out because I have this long to do list and it is just getting longer and the days are running out.
I have to get my tires changed tomorrow. They are bald and being that I haven't driven in six months it's been on the back burner till now..plus now I also have a flat mysteriously. This car HAS to be up and running, it's the only one with my name on it and the only one I wouldn't be a nervous wreck to drive or that my mom would be able to drive in case she needs to take over.
I haven't been sleeping. I got a migraine because of it and was vomiting from Sat afternoon to Sunday night.
K is determined to work on his fish tank as much as he can which I understand in these final days but you have to understand that in order for him to think and make things work he has to spread them out..all over the house. To give you an idea, there's a hacksaw and a torch laying on my bed right now. And it doesn't bother him a bit to leave it. He floods the bathroom floor because he "forgets" to pull the shower curtain all the way. He got drunk tonight and threw up all over the toilet and didn't clean it up. Guess what I'm doing after I post this
His friend came over to help and I have been on beer can pickup duty..they are freaking everywhere. I couldn't even cook on the stove without having to get a trash bag.
There's super glue, knives, and nails laying around. Thank God I have the coveted ferret room which he never ventures into. But I still have to protect my cats and his dogs so I'm walking behind him "animal proofing" things literally. The last thing I need right now is a furchild emergency. Well, that's the last thing I want ever actually.
He's in denial. Putting things off like filling out his living will. Guessing what time the surgery actually starts.
I'm running out of psych meds and I call to see if I can get in on a cancellation with my psychiatrist or get her to okay a refill and I'm told she's on #$!@# vacation till July. That's nice. Hope she's having fun.
Then after I'm done vomiting tonight he asks me to cook him dinner. Seriously? He got grilled cheese sandwiches because I hadn't even got to cleaning the ferret room yet because I was doing all his errands with him today because I needed something from the pet store in town.
Anyway.....my mind is spinning. I'm literally not even going to be able to sleep Tuesday night due to things I need to take care of and what time we have to leave. (Unless I manage to catch a nap between midnight and two).
Okay, so it's not all bad. K has done some really sweet things for me lately and yes, I know I need to be strong and suck it up, please don't tell me to do that..I've been crying with the bathroom door locked when I need to so I can be strong for him so believe me I am trying my best to not let my emotional side come out and be a burden to him.
Actually I feel a bit better now. I guess I just needed to vent. I could delete all this but what for? You guys are my only friends anyways so why not post it

[yola]

Phew, you are in a spin! And understandably. But K is too and I think his behaviour is like so many men and as your rightly identify; denial. The stress levels in your house must be stratospheric right now and much as I know your Mum's coming over for support I think her needs must take 2nd place to yours and K's at this point in time.

I would suggest you two have a cut-off time for all the rushing around and burying of heads in sand. You need some quite time together to say all the things you need to say to each other and to just power down a bit and have a cuddle.

Lots and lots of love to you both - I am thinking of you today and during this week. Hugs.

[angieh]

I really feel for you Tink and agree with Yola's advice above - establish a cut-off time and then just spend time together.

[dinahsmum]

Poor Tink.
Can you speak to your Mom frankley enough to tell her that, much as you appreciate her presence and assistance, you are unable to cope with any additional stress from her being there. K is the centre of attention, you are second and unfortunately for her, her needs come at the bottom (probably even behind your animals - but don't tell her that!).
Take care, put yourselves first and vent away whenever you want.
x

[random]

Oh Tink, K is just being a man and he really doesn't realise, it's just all this stress of what's coming, I hope you feel better. x

[dandysmom]

You're having a rough time of it, no doubt at all; glad that venting helped it a little bit. We're here, and we do care, Tink. Not that that helps with getting the car repaired and things in reasonable order ....... the above advice can't be improved on! (((hugs)))

[HappyKatz]

Aww sweet Tink - I hope you feel better soon! You can vent here anytime
You sure have a lot going on in your house. Just take it one step at a time even though it may feel like everything is being thrown at you at once...Most important things come first. You don't have to suck it up or any of that, you are right to feel the way you do All you can do is just keep doing your best...I think you are doing great for all the things that are going on! Hugs for you & vibes that everything gets better & goes more smoothly...

[calismum]

aw babe - I really feel for you just now. I can't do better than everything written above. He must be so scared and so are you. I'll be thinking of you both this week, and hope everything goes smoothly for you.

Big (((hugs))) for you

CM xx