Why are things so hard

[Erin]

Ive just had one of the hardest phone calls of my life

Phone rang and it was one my old school friends,we still keep intouch by call and email and try to meet up as often as we can but dont see anywhere as much as each other as we used too,we were inseperable (sp) at school.
Anyway the call started like it normally would with us catching up then she just started crying,3 years ago she was diagnosed with having MS I new about this and of course have been there for her any time she wants a cry or rant like when she had to start using a walking stick just over 12 months ago.
Shes a strong person and can cope with anything that life has to throw at her,anyhow it seems the last 6 months the disease has really taken its toll and she is struggeling but coping with her 4 year son ,he ex who ran a mile when he heard she had MS has suddenly shown back up and told her shes not capable of looking after their son (great coming from him who hasnt seen the little boy for longer than 1 hour in the past 18 months) and is threatening court action for custody.
Im off to see her tomorrow,I have absolutely no idea what Im going to say to her,it brakes my heart every time I see her,shes 23 years old and has this nasty horrible disease taking over her body and now faces a battle to keep the most important person in her life.

[alexgirl73]

no idea what to say Erin, just sending you and your friend a ((hug)).

ps, THOUSANDS of single mums have disabilites and still manage to raise their children brilliantly. Just remind her of that!

[Elaine]

Thats such a shame and I have no idea what to say other than does she have any support from family or anything? If so then they would surley help her fight this guy. I think the fact that he hasnt been there for his son over the last 18 months would speak volumes to the courts.

[Gaina]

Hi Erin

I'm disabled myself so this is a 'hot potato' for me .

She could try The Disabled Parents Network and also The MS Society. They should at least be able to give you some idea who to speak to next.

She'd also do well to join the 'Disability Now' forum as there are lots of friendly, knowledgeable people there.

Let us know how she gets on

[Erin]

She has an absoltuley wonderful family who will fight with her untill the end,and I know that this guy dosent stand much of a chance but trying to pursade her that is a different matter.

Thanks so much for all that Gaina ill pass it all on to her tomorrow.

[dandysmom]

That's awful, Erin! Just be there for her! With a good supportive family and advice from those sites Gaina was thoughtful enough to post, surely she stands a good chance to win the custody battle! And maybe her doctor can testify that she is perfectly able to take care of her child ...

Life sucks sometimes......

[yola]

How brutal, to kick her when she's down! I don't know masses about custody etc, but I'm fairly certain that she will not lose her son because she is disabled. That will open a can of worms that no court would wish to expose itself too.

I hope your friend finds the strength to get through this and will come out the other side fighting and with a smile on her face.

[Grete]

That is such a shame Erin Stress plays a big part in how well MS sufferers get on and how well they get on between 'attacks'. This is just going to make things harder for her

I don't believe the children would be taken away from her, especially not given to a man who has had nothing to do with her son for 18 months. LOTS of mothers with disabilities manage to love and care for their children fantastically.

Sounds like he is just trying to bully her which goes to show what sort of a man he is.

Hope she gets some good support from the places Gaina mentioned!

[Erin]

Thanks all,
Well Ive just got back from hers,it wasnt to bad actualy she seems better than what she did when I spoke with her last night,this has been going on for a few weeks now but she hadnt told me because she didnt want to bother me I soon put her right there . Her Solicitor has suggested that they see if they can come to arrangements through mediation before going to the courts,she is happy with that but isnt so sure that he will go for it so they are just waiting to hear back from his Solicitor at the mo.
She was laughing when I left so I think shes feeling more positive about it all.
We had a lovely morning actually
Ive passed all that info on to her Gaina and she says thanks very much.

[Ramble]

Sorry I just popped 'over' to have a nose and had a look at this thread. My aunt was diagnosed with MS when her son was only young (2 or 3) and her husband had just been killed in a car accident. Despite ending up in a wheelchair a couple of years ago, she has coped really well with bringing up her son (who is now heading towards his 20's). U just wanted to say that so you had something to encourage your friend with in her bleaker moments. I also wanted to send her a hug, x