I'm annoyed

[Luke]

Okay so this post may sound hypocritcal but if you hold that opinion please refrain from posting a response, it isn't touting for an argument
As you know we had an accidental litter from one of our cats, dissapeared Bella, last August. It could and should have been prevented yes, but there were simply other things which took over. Cut a long story short it was a bit of a shock, but we kept the two boys, our Maxwell & William, and found homes for the two girls with two friends.
Now I told both on strict instructions I wanted the girls "doing" at 6 months, as I didn't want to be responsible for anymore life than that I'd already been irresponsible enough to bring into the world, the new owners both agreed. My boys went for the chop just short of six months I think, with their ma eing done just after the kits went but she subsequently dissapeared new years eve, and Cinnamon the wee tabby n white girl was "done" Valentines day, which left the wee tortie/tabby which had been known as Rowdycat [vile name but the new owners wanted it[ but was changed to "Elliotar" or something ridiculous, anyway..the friend and I hadn't seen each other for a while, and I dropped them an email around April asking if she'd been done yet..which was quite a bit past when she should have [around february; 6 months old], and was told they had not enough money..i told them about the cats protection scheme and even volunteered to pay myself...they promised they would have her seen too via the cats protection scheme.
Well guess what, another friend of mine was here Friday and said they had been told she'd just recently had 7 kittens, SEVEN. SEVEN lives with NO homes lined up, they have NO clue what to do, aren't even at home anymore..the friend is a waste of space and flits around houses and college places and the parents work all day, and they have no idea what to do properly and have the ethos "Nature will show the cat what to do right n how to get um to eight weeks", then they have no idea what to do when they hit eight weeks other than "Sell um off and whats left can go to the RSPCA in Coundon"
To say i'm disgusted is an understatement, and the quality of thee wee tort is not too good anyway so I hear, they clearly won't bother to get her done so she will be churning more out sooner or later-they aren't keeping her in despite what they are told
Numsculls, and I feel incredibly guilty trusting them to have her when I was looking for GOOD homes, and there were many interested in her as she was so pretty n such a minx but i thought no, they are a good and trustworthy friend and they've just lost their old cat of considerable years.
I'm really very annoyed, and have a dire feeling this is to be an ongoing problem. I've offered to take her back, with kittens, as i had said originally when both owners took the girls on (If any problems they come back to us) but got the reply via someone else "No the kittens are fine, and when their gone the cat will go back to looking after herself"
Dissapointed, very dissapointed. I may have found myself with a litter of kittens, but they certainly werent intentional (these were allowed to be born as apparently it's natural don't you know, and its okay as they couldn't afford it), I found homes before they were born infact I had 12 homes lined up! (these have none), and we went hell bent for leather keeping "HellsBells" in and she was subsequently speyed as soon as possible. This bunch seem hopeless and happy wth the mess they've created!

[candyshandy]

I would be mad as hell too!

Would it be an idea to speak to your friend and offer to take Mum to vets and return her - no hassle to them etc etc?

[Luke]

That was another offer made and got basically the same response, the cat stays out of the way with the kittens and they sort themselves out aka aren't bothered with.
It's a sad sad state of affairs, but one of which unless I have some co-operation I am utterly powerless to do anything in.
I'm just seething at this moment in time!

[candyshandy]

Does your friend know how upset you actually are?

[babycakes]

i think initially you did all you could, the benefit of hindsight is a good thing!!! but that doesn't help if you are the one who feels helpless. If you had lost touch you wouldn't have known (but the fact is you are responsible because you are finding out about her welfare) Maybe it would be best to provide the reasons why you are plugging the cat to be spayed, the dangers to her and the kittens and this may make them see a bit further as it may sound like you are just telling them off and this will only cause them to raise their defensive wall higher. Does that make sense?? if they don't do the right thing you have to understand that you did all you could and that it isn't your fault Luke

[Luke]

I wrote an email expressing why I was upset and moreso what my concerns were and why I had them, I linked them to numerous web articles in regards to the rights, wrongs and dangers and even linked them to here but the response I got was very snubbed, very short and very callas. Basically it told me to but out and that it was their cat now and they know whats best; clearly they are oh so correct.

[babycakes]

Originally Posted by Luke

I wrote an email expressing why I was upset and moreso what my concerns were and why I had them, I linked them to numerous web articles in regards to the rights, wrongs and dangers and even linked them to here but the response I got was very snubbed, very short and very callas. Basically it told me to but out and that it was their cat now and they know whats best; clearly they are oh so correct.

Clearly they are not Luke but not everyone sees it the way that we do and more so if they feel they are being told off When humans are attacked or feel they are they become defensive and maybe that is what they are doing. I would explain very nicely that the kitten went to them but it was on the understanding that they had her spayed which they agreed to and the reason you asked is for the following reasons. But I think you should visit them face to face to say that and promise yourself that you will stay calm as it is very hard to argue with someone who is calm. (you are alos going to be defensive right now and may come across so)

[Elaine]

That poor kitten and her kittens. I'd be spitting feathers, infact I am actually spitting feathers about it. I am only sorry I cannt think of a reasonable solution to help her.

[smudgley]

.and so the cycle goes on...... these 7 kittens will have kittens..........and their kittens will have kittens.............and thei kittens will have kittens...............

[Kazz]

Hello Luke

You are in effect being a convert, you are preaching to them “do as I say not as I did” as BC has said when people feel under attack they become defensive from your post it sounds like the battle lines between you and the people who own Bella’s kitten (for that I what she still is even though she has kittens herself) have been drawn.

You need to stand back and possibly use a go between to try to get them to have her spayed, but the thing is the ball is rolling Bella had kittens her kitten has had kittens (numbers do not matter) and so the number of unwanted cats goes on gathering speed……this is why responsible people gets their cats neutered I know you had other things going on and that’s why Bella was not done but they could say the same.
You can’t say your problems were/are greater than theirs, so they let the kittens go to homes, and one does not get done either and so it continues - you feel bad I imagine maybe more guilty/embarrassed as much as anything because you trusted them to get her done.
But what goes around comes around, and they haven’t and because of a friend of a friend you know there are kittens out there that you are responsible for. You won’t know where they go or what happens to them so……….will that matter in a year they could have kittens you will never know……………………you should have taken the step to spay Bella when you had the chance……………………

You had 12 homes lined up for Bella’s kittens can you not try to find some for these, shutting the door after the horse has bolted is no good. But you are trying to do something it seems good for you, but if they choose to do nothing all you can do is remember how you feel no when you next get a kitten. Better to prevent than cure.