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Cats with 'CATTITUDE' Don't be afraid to bite the hand that feeds you Play with your food Climb trees, especially Christmas trees Always take center stage Whenever you do something bad, be sure to make it appear as if the dog did it Be aloof, cunning and regal Trim your claws on the new furniture Choose only the finest silk drapes for climbing Don't let the words "No" or "Bad Kitty" deter you Be sure to rub up against the allergic house guests Unroll all the toilet paper If you have light fur, choose the darker furniture and clothing to shed on (and vice versa) Hide when someone breaks into the house Don't bother knocking over the cheap knickknacks Only eat the most expensive food Don't ever be satisfied with being inside or outside Have a little catnip now and then Disappear every once in a while Cough up fur balls when company comes Scatter your kitty litter around Look with disdain on everyone Sleep all day and prowl all night Shred any paper left out Don't come when you're called Take time to eat the flowers Hog all the sunny places Share your finest treasures - dead mice, birds, and snakes always bring a great reaction Get underfoot whenever possible Yowl for no reason Lash out when you're stepped on Play with the garbage when nobody's home Stake out and claim your own chair Nap on the warm, clean laundry Cultivate your mood swings Invite yourself onto the dinner table Harbor no guilt Sleep on your owner's chest Pounce when they least expect it Make them beg for affection Any food left out is fair game Wait expectantly by the birdbath Don't be afraid to use your claws and hiss Act surprised when you break things Do not negotiate with mice Condescend to sit on a lap now and then Perch on furniture like a vulture Swish your tail in others' faces Do not tolerate puppies and kittens Remember, everything belongs to you Purr only to please yourself Create and live in a world all your own
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