First time cat owner with very shy cat - need help!

[6hnf7hlyv]

I have had Olive (adult, female British shorthair mix) for about 2 months. I had to move apartments about two weeks ago, and that was scary for her. I adopted Olive from a local shelter - she had been picked up wandering along the side of a highway. She is EXTREMELY shy and skittish and spends much of her time hiding. I have been petting her as often as she wants to be petted (although I am still learning to read her body language and she does not set very strong boundaries so sometimes I unwittingly pet her for too long), and over the past week I have gotten her to play a bit (only for ~5 min. at a time, and halfheartedly at that). She is eating and eliminating regularly, has seen a vet and is more or less medically healthy. At the old apartment she lived with another cat who was mean to her, but now it is just her and me. She is definitely more comfortable than when I first brought her home, but not by much. She only lets me pet her when she is in her "safe zones," she has NEVER approached me to seek affection (or anything else, for that matter), she is scared to be out in the open (she needs to have her back to a wall and if I walk into a room where she is out in the open, she gets terrified and bolts off to a hiding place) and she is still reticent to play (and the little bit of play that does happen only happens in her "safe zones"). I have given her plenty of cozy hiding spaces in every room of the apartment, a scratching post in every room (which she uses) and a cat tree (which she does not use). To complicate things, she HATES to be picked up or restrained, and protests with much hissing and occasional violence, but though I respect her preference, I had to restrain her to give her medication for a gum infection for her first few weeks at home, and may have to do so again in the future (I do not have to pick her up for any reason presently). Should I be doing something differently? Should I stop approaching her and ignore her until she comes to me? I love her immensely and I just want her to feel safe and happy and loved, but this is my first cat and I am not sure what to do. Please help.

[pamela81]

My Skye is very shy and hides when the door goes, hears loud noises or when people come in. She also doesnt like being lifted. Over time though with plenty of attention when she let's you, build up her trust and start lifting her for a few seconds at a time making sure when you put her down, it's gentle and controlled so that she's not jumping or panicking and run your hand along her when you put her down. Through doing this, I can now lift and hold Skye for about 10secs which for her is great. I'm still continuing to build it up with her and I've had her nearly 4 years. Long slow process but she will get there. I also never forced attention on her, I let her come to me, she nows sleeps on my legs at bed time and she curls up on me during the day.

Congrats on your new rescue aswell!!

[angieh]

Very good advice from Pamela - just try and be patient and go along as you are doing. I like it that you've provided her with hiding places in your new apartment. Sounds like she's lucky to have found you.

[dinky]

Welcome to Catsey. Your Olive is indeed very fortunate to have such a caring owner that is sensitive to her needs. It's early days yet so just be patient, respect Olive's feelings and I am sure she will come round. It sounds as if you are doing everything right.

[Phoenix]

Keep doing what you're doing and let her decide what's the right pace for letting you hold her

[PoshPuss]

Hi, my three girls are all rescues or strays and each have their issues. Cats are pretty aloof anyway, so it seems you are reading her right. Olive will let you go so far into her affections but it sounds like she'll never be a cuddle bunny. Pearla will let me pick her up but stiffens and jumps down as soon as poss, Pandora can't abide being handled and will yowl, Phoebe resists handling but loves being smoothed. You will be lead by Olive for now, don't rush things.

[fecto's mum]

Looks like you are doing well with Olive giving her lots of space and time. I had a rescue cat that had been tormented by children and hated being picked up so i never picked her up unless I absoutely had to. I let her do her own thing and let her come to me when she wanted to. She would only be stroked with one hand and would run off if I put 2 hands on her so I didn't. I had her for about 12 years and eventually she came to sit on my knee and sleep on the bed. As long as Olive feels ssafe she will come round.

[timber-]

I found that playing and giving lots of tasty treats like baby food helped bring Devon out of his shell. He will now let me pick him up and doesn't panic while being held and often takes a nap on my chest on the couch.

[jutta.timmerman]

You might have a hypersensitive cat. A visit to the vet to give her something to calm her dwon. As quick rmedy try catnip. My tomcat is shy and he loves it . He is relaxed and calm for 2 hrs after. Catnip fish toys or catnip pure is available in bags. Lots of patience after what your cat has been through. Do not give up!! Love Jutta