When to adopt again...ie... when to get another cat

[pookyandjo]

Hi all,
a short post to let you all know that i am still hanging in there.. I REALLY feel Tinky's absence dreadfully.. He was my shadow..and i really mean shadow... I mean i couldn't even go to the loo in the middle of the night without him jumping off the bed, following me, sitting on my kneee whilst i sat on the loo and then me dislodging him so i could go back to bed... he just had to be near me .. it was very rare that i would be in a room and he wasn't in the same room..either sitting on me... or very close by..I firmly believe that the only reason he would hop in the shower with me was because didn't like the glass shower screen dividing us!..
Anyway.. i digress...
He has been gone a little over a week... the pet funeral director delivered his ashes back to me last night and it was a defining moment.. i realised that he wasn't coming home at least in the form that i knew him... Of course i already knew that... but the thought still came to me as clearly as that!.. so i must have had some sub conscious thought somewhere in the small dark recesses of my brain that thought this was all still a bad dream...and he was somehow going to magically appear... wandering down the hall..calling me to see which room i was in!... anyway im waffling here.. bear with me.. i will get to the point of this eventually..

Whilst Tinky was in hospital.. on one of his bad days.. when i was very upset... my husband said... NO MORE CATS! He said he couldn't bear to see me go through this again with another cat... He is a cat person too...and has shed many tears over Tinky but today.. he mentioned getting another cat...and soon....

When he made the initial comment about no more cats i told him that if something happened to Tinky then i would need/want another cat... not right away of course... after a period of a few months.. then i would think about looking again..... he said in the same way all husbands do..... "WE WILL SEE" Which of course means "OK...YOU WIN"

(Im going to get to the point now!)

We were out having coffee today and the conversation went something like this...
him: We need a cat.
me: We have two, one lives in a wooden box on the dresser and the other one leaves fluff all over the house.
(sorry if i sound callous.. but i often resort to dark humour in an effort to maintain my composure)
him: Im being serious.. George (our other fur baby 7.y.o neut male) is really lonely..wandering around the house like a lost soul..he misses Tink and it's so sad to see..)
me: I cant think about this right now... end of discussion!

These are the facts..

George is a very social cat whereas Tinky wasn't..

They were both indoor cats.. never going outside..outside isn't an option due to the area we live in... outdoor cats aren't allowed due to local by laws.. of course laws get broken... and so do cats that are allowed outside.. as we live near a primary school and kids can be very cruel as one of our neighbours found out when their cat was tortured by some kids.. anyway .. that's another story...

He is lonely.. i concede that.. and whilst im concerned about his lonliness.. im also concerned about another cat so soon.. how he will react... will it confuse him even more..

Im also concerned about waiting too long as well... as if he gets used to being by himself... then he may not like another cat when we decide to get another one at a later date

i am acutely aware that NO CAT can ever replace Tinky.. not in my heart and not in my presence.. but i belived that i have room in my heart for another fur baby..

im sure that some of you have been in this situation before.. I would love to hear from any thoughts/opinions/ arguments either for or against or both... as i want to do the right thing by George.. and i want to get another baby for the right reasons...

thanking you all in anticipation

Jo and George

p.s. I should point out that George isn't really my cat... his "special person" is our 19 year old daughter Cait.. and whilst he isn't a öne person"cat like Tinky was.. he does favour Cait.. but loves everyone in general... Cait refers to him as the "comic relief "of the household!

[dinahsmum]

If you feel ready for it - go for it.
I think you are right about George getting set in his ways and potentially resenting a newcomer if he stays 'an only cat' too long.
I've never introduced adult cats, just brought new kittens into the house and never had any problems. In fact until I started reading Catsey it would never have crossed my mind that there could possibly be any problems.
Good luck with whatever you decide and, should you get a kitten, you know everyone her will be delighted to watch his/her progress!

I enjoyed (if that's the right word) your post; maybe appreciated would be a better word? I was going to do a post about how different a one cat household is to a two cat household but you've kinda covered it.

[pookyandjo]

Thanks DM..

If we do go down the adoption road... and at this stage it is IF...i have a few preferences for a new baby...

Any cat that we get will come from the RSPCA..

I had pretty much decided that we would have to go for a kitten.. whilst i would love to give an older cat a home i do have to consider George and i think a kitten would be best all round

I like boys better than girls... not sure why because i have only ever had boys.. but i have read that girls can be very bossy.. even with older/bigger cats..

I would like a big cat... Tinky had big ears as a kitten and big paws and grew into a big cat... George has a big broad head...and has also turned into a big boy...(a liitle too big actually as he needs to go on a diet!)

and i would like... (not essential) but would like a new baby to have some tabby markings... dont care what colour he is... but i have a bit of a thing for tabbies.. all of my previous cats have had tabby in them with the exception of one.. he was all black...

George is a black and white fluff ball... i will have to post a pic of him in the next few days

[dandysmom]

Hi, Jo. Getting another cat and how soon is a very personal thing, and only you will know when you're ready. When my beloved Siamese died suddenly (I have since come to believe it was cardiomyopathy after reading about it here ...I digress too!) I was devastated. A house without a cat isn't a home, IMO; anyhow, the pet shop hear me had adorable Aby kittens, so got one. Didn't know in those days that pet shop kittens were a bad idea; fortunately he was a very healthy well socialized kitten. I got a lot of criticism from some people who said I'd replaced him too soon; they didn't understand that he was not and could never be a replacement....he was a kitten who needed a loving home, and I had a big cat-sized hole in my heart. I've never regretted that I got him that soon.

When he died, Misty missed him very much, so I rehomed a lovely tortie, but they did not get along at all, just tolerated one another; she did not want a girl cat, she wanted her brother back! I then got a little male kitten; right decision, as she loved him, and he her. So I'm inclined to think George would be better with a kitten.

I agree that waiting too long might be a mistake and that he could easily become adjusted to being an only cat. Leia is, because she will not tolerate another cat, especially an adult female. I tried... a disaster! And I think it's been too long now to try to introduce her to a kitten.

Sorry this is so long, but I thought you might be interested in my experiences; I'm sure others will be along with their opinions and stories.

Take care, Jo, (((hugs)))

[niki71uk]

i have 4 yr old border terrier,who i brought in when he was 8 wks,i already then had an 11 yr old cat,they got on well as i knew the xat didnt mind dogs,i then last yr brought in a kitten,at 6 wks as i guess a pal for the dog as the older cat is now 15.i probably should have waited till the 15 yr old had gone,but i wanted the kitten already established in to the pack,at nearly a yr old she gets on brill with the dog,but the other cat well erm.................... she torments him still i wouldnt give her up now,nor would i have when she was younger


was i wrong to bring the kitten in on the scene?????????


knowing the older cat he will live an extra 10 yrs just to spite me

[angieh]

I think this is really a story of two halves - one is practical - introductions/will they get on etc. The other is when to get another cat/kitten. Really all I can say is go with your heart - I don't think any of us here on Catsey would want to criticise anyone by saying "it's too early". We all appreciate that a newcomer doesn't ever "replace" a dearly loved companion. My only reservation in your case would be that Tinky seemed like the perfect companion as he was always with you. Another cat probably would be totally different and you are not likely to get the same quality of friendship from your new choice. That's all - so long as you know that in your heart and you're happy, then go for it. You have a cat shaped hole in your heart and there is bound to be a cat or kitten at your local rescue who needs a loving caring home.

I wish you great good luck.

[Leesy]

I agree with what everybody else has said so far, only you will know when you are ready to take on another kitten.
When I lost Charkie I was beside myself and said that I didn`t want another cat as I couldn`t possibly go through that pain and heartache again, my husband knew me all to well and after showing me the pics of Maxi as a 3 week old kitten on the internet I just fell in love with him and just had to have him, it was only about 2 weeks later that I made that decision and people said that I was making a mistake to get another cat so soon, but for me it helped with the healing process and it was the best choice that I could have made, and now I also have his little half sister as well.
I still miss Charkie like crazy but I now know that I always will, but it still dosen`t stop me from loving with all my heart my 2 gorgeous little babies.

[dandysmom]

Originally Posted by Leesy

I agree with what everybody else has said so far, only you will know when you are ready to take on another kitten.
When I lost Charkie I was beside myself and said that I didn`t want another cat as I couldn`t possibly go through that pain and heartache again, my husband knew me all to well and after showing me the pics of Maxi as a 3 week old kitten on the internet I just fell in love with him and just had to have him, it was only about 2 weeks later that I made that decision and people said that I was making a mistake to get another cat so soon, but for me it helped with the healing process and it was the best choice that I could have made, and now I also have his little half sister as well.
I still miss Charkie like crazy but I now know that I always will, but it still dosen`t stop me from loving with all my heart my 2 gorgeous little babies.

I could not agree more, Leesy! Well put.

And you can sometimes wait too long; I have a friend who lost his cat to cancer, and has never gotten another as he said he could never go thru that again. And has missed the love and companionship ever since.

[pookyandjo]

Greetings all,
a post to bring you all up to date what has been going on in the last week... my computer died again..(read...didn't fix it properly in the first place!!) so that has been taken back at the repairers with strict instructions not to ring me to collect it until it is fixed properly..

The main news is that today i decided that it was time to go to the RSPCA and look to see if someone wanted to adopt me...I have been aware that as we are now well into autumn that we will be very soon at the end of the kitten season here in Australia.. last weekend i had called the RSPCA to see how many kittens they had..and they had 32.. i rang today and they only had 16.. so the availability is going down quickly..so i decided that i would go and see if there was one that took a fancy to me and if there wasn't well i would wait later in the year...
Hubby (David) and i hopped in the car and drove the 45 mins to the RSPCA with the view of doing just that... Well.. see my post above about wanting a boy..who had potential of growing big and preferably with some tabby markings... well i suppose that one out of three isn't bad...
We have come home with a petite fluffy ginger female domestic medium hair.. with tabby markings... again i will have to wait until my computer comes home hopefully tomorrow to load some pictures of her (and of George) as my laptop doesn't have a card reader on it

my next dilema will be what to call her... for many years i have wanted a ginger cat... i was always going to call him Prince Harry... after the red haired prince... (i have red hair as well).. but given that she's a girl..I dont know that it's going to work as a name now... in any case at the moment she's being called "little one" or "pussy" or "Orange cat" which has been shortened already to OC ..... so any and all suggestions for names would be considered.

Thats about it from this side of the world

Jo, George and OC

[Leesy]

Oh wow how sweet a cutey little girlie ginger tabby kitty , I can`t wait to see some pics of her I bet she is just adorable.
I think OC is quite a sweet little name already, but I will have a think and see what I come up with.

Just thought of a name "Smartie" as in orange smarties I just luvvvvvv them LOL.

So glad to hear that you have a new little companion it is great news, has Geogre met her yet and if so what does he think to the new arrival.