Need advice on helping my cats get along

[stacey87]

Hello all, its been a while since ive posted, and after my last post on here I found out the vets had messed me around a little, and my boy Charlie IS a girl so the first vet was right and second was wrong, anyway shes now called Tilly 😀

After having Tilly for over a year I decided it was time to get her a friend so shes not alone all day while im at work, I rehomed I tomcat hes called Noel big beautiful black and white cat, 3 years old neutered, vaccinated etc etc.

The problem I now have is that Tilly doesnt like him 😞 he is so layed back and doesnt go near her while shes hissing or growling, he desperately wants to.make friends, but shes having none of it, ive had him about 2 and a half weeks, alot of people have said it can take a while for them to make friends, but how long is long enough for her to Just hiss and growl and run away from him, hes never hissed or growled at her he just cries and put his paw on the floor towards her, as if hes giving her an olive branch. She has swiped at him.but thats as far as its gone.

They can play (separate) sit, sleep, use the litter tray and eat in the same room without any fights (they have never fought up to now) Tilly sleeps in front of him, and is completely fine if she approaches him, however if Noel follows Tilly into a room she doesnt like it, and growls and hisses.

Is this normal? Will she come round and if so how long could it take, i really dont want to have to rehome Noel however I dont want to make Tilly pushed out, she still goes out during the day, and comes back when I get in from work.
How will I know if she will never get used to him?

They are kept separate while im out, but have full run of house while im in. Everytime they are in the sane room, I make it as much of a positive environment as I can, treats, fuss, toys and calmness, but as soon as Noel.moves in Tillys direction she hisses and leave the room 😞😞

I know this is a long post but any help would be greatly appreciated, Thanx in advance

[fancyabrew]

to be honest with you it doesn't sound that bad! They're not down right fighting. We had a 12yr old female silver tab BSH (she's my avatar pic still) and we got a male BSH kitten, now he was a right menace stalking her around the house jumping on her and just being a kitten, she was having none of it plenty of hissing etc In the end what worked for us was getting ANOTHER cat! We got another silver tab BSH boy kitten and that took all the attention away from chloe She sadly died 2yrs ago and we now have another BSH Blue boy and a very strange house dynamic! They all get on pretty well only play fighting, but Marmaduke (4.5 yr old) pushes Godfrey (3yr) around and Monty (2yrs) pushes Marmaduke around but Godfrey stands up to Monty! Its all very strange

[Velvet]

It can take weeks or months & all perfectly normal. Have you got Feliway plugins throughout the house?
You mention a litter tray, as a rule of thumb each cat should have a tray & one extra
Whats happening sounds ok to me too

[pamela81]

My 2 still have the odd go at each other after 4years!! My Harris is the boss in the house even though we also have a springer. We started by keeping them seperate when we were out and just building on it and through time they have got much better. They even lay quite close to each other at times but never snuggle.

Time and patience. I also have 2 litter trays which they will now share

[stacey87]

Thanx for the replies guys, yeah I have three litter trays alltogether, they have their own and one spare in kitchen, i havent tried a feliway yet, that was going to be my next mission, i wish there was a way for me to get Tilly to realise hes a good guy, he just sits and cries at her, he trys always to get close to her edging his way forward, but then she just hisses and growls and runs away 😞