Upset

[Tink]

Well first off, everyone is okay. It's more my feelings are hurt because someone who is one of K's friends criticized Cuddles' care and me tonight.
For those that don't know she is eighteen,hyperthyroid, and senile. And yes, I have had a lot going on lately and not mentioned it but she is going a bit more downhill.
She's also partially blind and doesn't look wonderful but is fed, watered, bedded, and loved which is more than I can say for her last home which I won't even go into right now.
She does need a dental again but i'm not even sure if she's a candidate to go under because she's so frail. But she's not suffering and had advanced stage dental disease when i took her in.
But this guy..K's friend..whose only knowledge of animals is when they were crippled his father used to tell him to shoot them...accused me of animal neglect/cruelty.
I calmly explained each thing that concerned him and why it seemed/looked like that. He actually got more accusatory (prob didn't help he was DRUNK) and accused me of letting her sit in her own excrement (which it was not just so you know, she gets herself wet in the tub and the dogs track dirt in and i try to keep her clean but i can't always be on top of it).
she is on meds and everything..
i can't believe how adamantly i had to defend myself.
my pride is in how well i take care of my "kids" and after he left i cried for hours. K says he has no point of reference and that is why but that is the worst insult anyone could ever give me to accuse me of such a thing.
And now I feel horrid, and angry, and depressed.

[angieh]

That's just so unfair Tink. We know that you do everything you possibly can to keep your kids comfortable and to let them see out their days with love and security. He was drunk as you say and has no knowledge of animal care from the sound of it. Did K say anything to him in your defence?

[Tink]

He just said to this person "Well you have to understand she is old and not a spring chicken anymore" in reference to Cuddles.
It got me because I have been worrying about her lately too and trying to figure out finances and this has just been a tough year and a lot of things are going on right now.
Plus my sister in laws fiance I don't get along with is in town and tension is running high.
It was just like the last thing I needed.
At the end of the day, I always tell myself I have my relationship with my animals and no one can take that away from me so when he was making those comments it really hurt because it's like he was criticizing what I've told myself is my purpose to be here. I'm not good at much but I felt like I was good at that and I guess I'm just very sensitive about it because the animals are sometimes the only thing that's gets me out of bed, you know?
This "friend" was grilling me for ten minutes about it in front of Cuddles. I was fighting back tears till he left to save some pride but I am just really upset. It's already hard to watch her go downhill.
He even suggested I was not feeding her because she is thin!
How could he think that of me? He must really not know me at all, I thought he was my friend too.

[angieh]

You've had enough going on lately to make a saint weep, Tink. And he's hit a nerve with you being worried about Cuddles anyway. And also giving up smoking, which is going to make you feel much more sensitive too.

Try to bundle your hurt away and concentrate on what you feel is best for Cuddles for the moment. ((((HUGS))))

[Tink]

Thank you. Hugs appreciated.

[farthing]

I wouldn't worry about it, easier said than done I know, but he obviously doesn't know much so isn't worth listening to.
It is very hard looking after elderly animals and even harder to know when the time has come to say goodbye. People could say the same about many of mine as they are old or poorly, but my response would be that the vet is happy with their condition and if they don't believe me to call the vet for clarification.
I, personally feel, that as long as an animals isn't in pain or distress, eating, toileting and sleeping well, they deserve to enjoy the time they have left. Old people get a bit forgetful and scrawny but nobody would suggest they are suffering, animals are the same.
Your doing all you can to make her life happy and carefree, nothing else matters.

[calismum]

Oh Tink - it is horrid having to deal with people who don't understand. Especially when we are doing everything we can for the animals we love.

I can only echo what has been said above. Try to lift yourself above it and carry on doing your best for all your furkids.

[Tink]

Thanks all. I've calmed down a bit now.

[dandysmom]

What a nasty, ignorant man! Consider the source, and try not to let it get under your skin. You know, and we all here know, how well cared for and well loved your animals are !!! (((hugs))) from here too. And of course I echo all the above posts,

[Tink]

Thank you. I feel better but now I have a headache cuz I always get a headache when I cry a lot. It's just..the worst thing anyone can say to me, you know? I'd rather he call me fat, ugly, or stupid..but to accuse me of that? I've just never been in that position before and was really caught off guard. Especially since I am so guarded and let so few people into my social life, all the more sting.