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Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 321
26-10-2005, 10:09 PM   #1

Know Any Jokes?????


A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near-death
experience.

Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months
and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the
hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy
tuck. She even had someone come in and change her
hair colour.

Since she had so much more time to live, she
figured she might as well make the most of it. After
her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was
struck and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you
said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me
from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."




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Fran's Avatar
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Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
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Location: Yorkshire
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26-10-2005, 10:18 PM   #2

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


Brill Joke Amadeus! Think it should have gone in the games Jokes and funnies section though



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Posts: 321
26-10-2005, 10:22 PM   #3

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Kitty
Brill Joke Amadeus! Think it should have gone in the games Jokes and funnies section though
Sorry, i'm still new to all this malarky.
i'll do me best to remember these things.



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Fran's Avatar
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Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
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26-10-2005, 10:24 PM   #4

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


No problem Amadeus, you'll soon get the hang of things round here....we were all new once



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Mags's Avatar
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26-10-2005, 10:26 PM   #5

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


Az will move it to the correct section when he sees it Amadeus...........very good joke though



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26-10-2005, 10:31 PM   #6

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


PK, this is for your goodself, and indeed everyone else, thanks for making me so welcome to these pages. & i really do mean that



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Posts: 321
26-10-2005, 10:34 PM   #7

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


A jelly baby turned up at the doctors.

"I think I may have a sexually transmitted disease," the jelly baby confided, tearfully.

"That's ridiculous," responded the doctor. "Jelly babies cannot get sexually transmitted diseases."

"Oh yes we can," the jelly baby insisted. "I mean, I've been sleeping with allsorts."




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26-10-2005, 10:36 PM   #8

Re: Know Any Jokes?????






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26-10-2005, 10:39 PM   #9

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mags
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."





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Tom's Avatar
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Cats owned: Mogs/Siamese/Orientals
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Tom is Male
26-10-2005, 10:41 PM   #10

Re: Know Any Jokes?????


Ha ha great jokes!!



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