Know Any Jokes?????

Amadeus · 26-10-2005, 10:09 PM

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near-death
experience.

Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months
and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the
hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy
tuck. She even had someone come in and change her
hair colour.

Since she had so much more time to live, she
figured she might as well make the most of it. After
her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was
struck and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you
said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me
from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

Fran · 26-10-2005, 10:18 PM

Brill Joke Amadeus! Think it should have gone in the games Jokes and funnies section though

Amadeus · 26-10-2005, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pretty Kitty

Brill Joke Amadeus! Think it should have gone in the games Jokes and funnies section though

Sorry, i'm still new to all this malarky.
i'll do me best to remember these things.

Fran · 26-10-2005, 10:24 PM

No problem Amadeus, you'll soon get the hang of things round here....we were all new once

Mags · 26-10-2005, 10:26 PM

Az will move it to the correct section when he sees it Amadeus...........very good joke though

Amadeus · 26-10-2005, 10:31 PM

PK, this is for your goodself, and indeed everyone else, thanks for making me so welcome to these pages. & i really do mean that

Amadeus · 26-10-2005, 10:34 PM

A jelly baby turned up at the doctors.

"I think I may have a sexually transmitted disease," the jelly baby confided, tearfully.

"That's ridiculous," responded the doctor. "Jelly babies cannot get sexually transmitted diseases."

"Oh yes we can," the jelly baby insisted. "I mean, I've been sleeping with allsorts."

Mags · 26-10-2005, 10:36 PM

Amadeus · 26-10-2005, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mags

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Tom · 26-10-2005, 10:41 PM

Ha ha great jokes!!

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