Traditions - do we need them

[Kazz]

I ask this question on the back of attending the funeral of a neighbour this week.
Now I am not old, I am 42 and wonder what the world is coming too. The lady who was cremated has 4 children, son daughter, daughter, son. The eldest son is married and has a son about 15. The youngest daughter is divorced and has 3 son 1 daughter. The other two are not married and have nochildren.
The grandhildren wore a selection of clothing from track suits to jeans, I wonder where tradition of being smart at least for a funeral has gone this is not the first funeral I have attended where people wore jeans, tracksuits etc.

Is it me or does this seem disrespectful to you? I think it is a poor show of respect especially as it is a relative and not a stranger you could not tell the family from bystanders (who incidentaly most looked smarter than them)

Sure wearing black or dark colour or at least smart is a tradition but maybe the lack of respect for traditions is what makes the world a harder crueler place if their are no rules of self respect in place then what chance do we have?

[Mags]

I agree with you Kazz, you dress smart as a mark of respect. No way would I have let my two children attend their grandparents funerals in jeans, tracksuits etc After all it is the last show of respect you are able to give the deceased isn't it?

[Fran]

I totally agree Kazz. It makes me so sad that traditions are dying

[Kazz]

But why? I don't understand with no tradition how can we keep grounded? stable.

Karen

[Fran]

Originally Posted by Kazz

But why? I don't understand with no tradition how can we keep grounded? stable.

Karen

I don't know Kazz I think the younger generations now are not being brought up with the same values anymore but have no idea why

[Kazz]

Thats sad Fran, this has made me think and I have asked my two nieces and Katie (14 this year ) and Sophie (12 this year) said they would wear black and look smart they wouldn't wear anything but smart -
Asked my godson too and he David (17) said I can't see whats wrong with tracksuit but he would wear smart, suit or jacket and trousers.

SO what is it?

[CathyW]

ive been to a funeral where we all wore jeans and a leather jackets,mind u it was a bikers funeral,
but unless it was asked for by the deseased you should wear black or dark clothing,i persoanlly would like ppl to wear what ever they want the brighter the better, and celbrate knowing me and not greive losing me (saying that wonder if anyone would turn up??)

[Naomi]

I went to a funeral a few years back and the lady who died had expressly said that at her funeral they were to remember her as a fun, bubb;y happy person and their attire was to express this. Altho some wore black they wore a bright colour tie or scarf, something to add a splash of colour.

Another funeral we went to of a young friend of ours, he was about 20, everyone wore smart casual. Not one person arrived in jeans or tracksuit

[CathyW]

i think its best to judge the person as they where,if they where a sobor dort of person ,then wear the dark clothing,but if they where a bright n bubbly person always good for a laff,then wear bright clothing as a mark of respect to them. i remember the bikers funeral (his name was mike) he always a had a tale to tell,and the vicar (who was also a biker) had us rolling about laughing repeting some of mikes stories,i can honestly say id never been to a funeral like it, yes there where tears but not of sadness,i thinkk mike would of really enjoyed him self. and thats how id like it,no sad faces ppl remembering me as i used to be slightly insane/forgetfull/getting stuff muddled up.

[dinahsmum]

Don't know if traditions is the right word Kazz. When I'm doing my Victor Meldrew I always refer to it as loss of self respect - that's what makes people behave ridiculously/wear clothes that would shame a tart/not think of other people. It shouldn't be based on history or tradition - just on a feeling of self worth and the wish not to let oneself down
I think, in general, dark clothes fit the funeral mood, but I have been to one where black was barred (at the request of the deceased). Even so, people seemed to wear 'appropriate'.
No probs with other special requests, especially where it is a young person who has gone.