Advertise.

[Kazz]

If your cats who you have lost (like I have Oscar) were to advertise your home to future residence what would their advert say.

Got the idea speaking to DM about Tizzie possibly putting a word or advert in for the kittens
I think this is what Oscar would say about his home now.

"Vacancy, at good home awaits the right cat. Complete with cat trained humans already in residence. Doors and windows will be opened on request, furniture is kept to a standard that is more than acceptable to felines. The house is off the main road so no through traffic. The facilities always clean, and access to outdoor toileting is available.

Hunting is available a short pleasant stroll away. Although regular good quality meals to suit a varitey of tastes are always readily available on demand. The humans appear to have a slight aversion to live food being brought back to the home but they get so excited about it you have to feel sorry for them being incapable of hunting, however freshly killed food is not received with such excitment, and they are well mannered enough not to try and share it with you. But do prefer you to eat your "ready caught meals" outside.

The garden is secure with hidey holes for remaining independent yet within easy reach of any titbits on offer, and a shed perfect for catnapping the hours away.

Laps are always available for your daily snooze. Beds are comfortable and fresh with clean duvets supplied readily during your stay. The humans ability to stroke and scatch in just the right spot under chins is second to none, and they are easily pleased with a purr or two.

Airing cupboards are unfortunatley usually shut but on ocasion access can occasionaly be made and feline heaven is assured on those occasions, warm towels that are so deep you sink into them.

The property has live in canine companions who are already trained to obey cats and are young enough to be succesfully trained further to your own requirments. They could be looked upon as an aded bonus as they are successul in the rear guard action of defending the catlap when you are away from home inspecting your territory.

A ginger and white maiden aunt in residence she is to be repected at all times and may show you the tricks of sucesful cat/human interaction, if the mood takes her. She can appear haughty but has the gentlest of souls. However she rules the roost, so beware of her left hook.

All you need to do to live here is to love them all unconditionaly as they will you. Happily the position is for life."

Well what would your advert say?

[dinahsmum]

Great post!
Have to go gardening now - will compose my ad later!

[Fran]

That's brilliant Kazz!!!!

[dinahsmum]

Vacancy
A vacancy has arisen at the following long-established residence in sunny Dorset. Previous occupant recommends highly

Human housekeepers, well versed in the ways of cats, doors opened on demand, "facilities" always kept clean, bedding clean, comfortable and warm. Laps available on request, garden secure and backup for repelling unwanted visitiors available in form of over enthusiastic "dumb" canine ( with further training the dog could become an ally and possible hot water bottle)
Humans on hand for majority of the time and holidays to good cattery with Uncle Ken and Aunty Jan when humans away.
Food on demand and of high quality. Recent talk of becoming a specialist 'sushi' establishment, with hand prepared raw food
The garden is south facing for more than adequate sun bathing, wide expanse of sun-warmed decking and corners and hideaways available, including the log-store roof.
Quiet road, virtual cul de sac - chosen of course with cats in mind.
One other long term mature female resident; may appear aloof at first but will thaw and become very chatty
Vacancy will be for life.

(Thanks Kazz, for prompting me on large parts of this!)

[Sweet]

Great thread, will have to think one up x

[Kazz]

Originally Posted by Fran

That's brilliant Kazz!!!!

So come on then Fran how would Lucky advertise you to potential kittens?

[Naomi]

Vaccancy in permanent home. Meals readily available, young humans of household very accomodating as to beds available for sleeping on, will share their toys and plenty of cuddles to go round.

Outdoor persuits include, climbing and hiking. Plenty of sunbathing spots especially ontop of motor vehicles and even inside motor vehicles

[Donna]

Think mine would say....

Nice hot house (always has the heating on) and quiet during the day for relaxing on human beds when they do their school/work thing.

Afternoons and evenings consist of lots of playtime from the smaller humans plus extra treats when the bigger human is not looking. Plenty of places to rest and lots of places to snuggle.

Bigger human paranoid about losing you so hide as much as you can to scare her, especially when you are out in the garden. Also bring in plenty of worms and the like as this gets the humans very excitable - running around screaming usually!!

Sunny back garden with swinging hammock to lounge on if you can beat the humans to it!!

[Kazz]

Those two are excellent really good, made me smile both of them. Come on then you lot get a move on - sell yourselves

[Snoof]

I'll have to write this one for Ninja - none of my past cats have ever seen this house!

Soppy, helpless human has room for more. Two vacancies currently available in large, but slightly clueless heart.

Human will provide excellent food and a variety of treats, and will have the grace to provide hairball-relief and toothcleaning yummies without alerting you to their healing effects (so as not to spoil your appetite).

High-quality, timely meals twice a day with lots of variations in flavour, and snacks always available in a suitable bowl. Clean water provided. Bedroom door left open so as to facilitate wake-up-the-human games for those so inclined.

House is large and filled with hidey-holes, many of which come with individual fan heating and frequently nearby humans in case you should need their services.

Hands always available for rubbing up against, toys come with rent. Access to the outdoors available to those old, altered and vaccinated enough to brave it if they so choose - many soft warm spots provided in case of rain or laziness.

One scary small child who gets excited at what he calls "kitties" (the cheek!) but will not harm and is becoming more adept at providing stroking - eventually he will stop being quite so careful and get the good scritching in.

First and last month's loud purring and occasional meows to be provided up front, but we will accept installment plans.