Right here you are for starters
Refusing to eat food down for more than 2 hours....then eating from the rubbish bin.
The midnight chorus that wakes you in the early hours. You stumble down for food as she chooses that moment to lie on the stair you are about to step on so you almost go head over heels to avoid treading on her.
On the way back up with the said food your head remembers where she is snoozing, but she's moved now and curls round your ankles to make certain of tripping you on the way back up.
She insists on following me up the road when I am in the car, yet when I want to take her to the vets I can't find her for love or money.
I have spent hours calling her frantic with worry trapsing the streets looking for her then crawled home exhausted to see her strolling out of the airing cupboard - on occasion she has even had the audacity to climb over me to go out for a stroll as I lie collapsed from exhaustion in the hallway.
She has thrown up hairballs at the most embarrasing of moments, and locations. And what do I do instead of apologising to my guests I ignore them and FIRST I check she's okay before I do anything.
I have been brought by the two of them over the years, dead birds, mice, rats, live koi carp, and still struggling rabbits (Oscar those) the occasional kitten stolen from a demented Mother cat who paced up and down outside.
Then the saga of the warm chicken nuggests. Not to mention the cooked lamb joints, add to that still warm pork chops - luckily minus the apple sauce. Then there was the complete chicken uncooked but with stuffing already added.
Cleo brought me a barbie doll once - which remained unclaimed.
I have had the hall decorated by flying cat fur both theirs and invaders.
I have watched as they stalked the same moth and collided with each other in mid air
I have sat up nights when Oscar got blood poisoning from a abyss due to a cat bite.
I have chosen my house with them in mind - cul de sac - location off a quiet road, do they appreciate it - HA.
Oscar (who else) who brought home a dead magpie
he spent about 4-5 minutes trying to get it through the cat flap oddly enough that is exactly the amount of time I also spent trying to get him to change his mind but he was determinded that bird was coming in. Then when the blinking thing was in it decided to do a Lazarus and come back from the dead it proceeded to fly up the stairs - with Cleo and Oscar in hot pursuit.
I was the easiest target and it flew at me I fell backwards - the bird swopped into the living room and landed on the fireplace - Gyp my previous Stafford went for the bird the cats arrived (a bit like the aristocats remember the siamese charging round the house) the bird again went towards me.
Eventually after what seemed to be days not the mere minutes it must have been the bird was exhausted - I threw a towel over it and took it off in a box to round by the canal and let it go only to turn around and see Oscar running towards me he swerved like the expert he was around my legs tail in the air aiming straight towards where the poor bird had been let go.
I shouted after him in desperation - bring that home again and you're for it mate. I went toward home to collapse to see Cleo approaching the house with a live mouse. I gave in and went to the pub.
Would I change anything - No not a moment, nor would I add any days to their lives because all good things must come to an end.
