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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
27-01-2007, 08:33 PM   #1

What Makes 100% - Joke


What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullsh*T and Ass kissing that will make you top dog.



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Fran's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 21,296
27-01-2007, 08:38 PM   #2

Re: What Makes 100% - Joke






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Jac Jac is offline
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Raggie and BSH
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 11,575
27-01-2007, 09:52 PM   #3

Re: What Makes 100% - Joke


He he Elaine thats what we have been missing all your jokes



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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
27-01-2007, 10:38 PM   #4

Re: What Makes 100% - Joke


So THAT's why I never got the promotions



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alexgirl73's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 lovely boys and a beautiful girl
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Telford UK
Posts: 10,652
27-01-2007, 11:42 PM   #5

Re: What Makes 100% - Joke


LOL!! Oh you are on a roll tonight Elaine!



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Sweet's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 10 cats (stray stayed) 3 sleeping x
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bristol
Posts: 6,852
28-01-2007, 08:32 PM   #6

Re: What Makes 100% - Joke


Brilliant x



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