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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
21-02-2007, 08:43 PM   #1

JOKE - Little Tony


A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
And
> >you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
TONY.
> >
> >
> >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> >
> >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like
>your
> >thinking."
> >
> >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.
> >
> >There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
> >
> >One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
> >The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third
Is
> >biting off the top of the ice cream.
> >Which one is married?"
> >
> >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
> >that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >
> >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
The
> >wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
> >
> >
> >LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)
> >
> >
> >
> >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> >
> >"Why?" asks the father?
> >
> >"The teacher asked
>'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies TONY.
> >
> >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> >
> >"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
> >
> >"What's the f...ing difference?" asks the father.
> >
> >"That's what I said!"
> >
> >
> >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> >
> >
> >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
To
> >learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
> >multi-syllable word?"
> >
> >TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
> >
> >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> >
> >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> >
> >
> >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> >
> >
> >Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
> >All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
> >He yelled
>out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
> >
> >The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
In
> >this situation.
> >The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
> >Please use the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> >allow you to go."
> >
> >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
If
> >you had bigger boobs, you'd be a TEN!"
> >
> >
> >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
> >
> >
> >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
Show
> >of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
> >sentence twice.
> >
> >First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
Bought
> >my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> >
> >"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She
>then called on little
> >Michael.
> >
> >"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
> >
> >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called
On
> >little TONY.
> >
> >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
Was
> >pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... Beautiful!'"
> >
> >
> >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> >
> >
> >
> >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
After
> >another.
> >After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
> >know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,
> >rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >
> >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> >
> >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at
>a time?"
> >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business.



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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
21-02-2007, 08:58 PM   #2

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


He he he, good one! Naughty Tony! Where do you find all these funnies?!



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Fran's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 21,296
21-02-2007, 08:58 PM   #3

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


I'm just glad that I am not little Tony's teacher



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alexgirl73's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 lovely boys and a beautiful girl
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Telford UK
Posts: 10,652
21-02-2007, 09:09 PM   #4

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


LOL Elaine!! Glad he's not my son!!



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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
21-02-2007, 09:13 PM   #5

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


Quote:
Originally Posted by dandysmom
He he he, good one! Naughty Tony! Where do you find all these funnies?!
I cannt possibly give my source away



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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
21-02-2007, 09:35 PM   #6

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


Quote:
Originally Posted by Elaine
I cannt possibly give my source away
Just keep them coming....enjoy my daily laugh!!



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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
21-02-2007, 10:54 PM   #7

Re: JOKE - Little Tony


That's TOOO funny!! However, I doubt I'd be laughing quite so loud if it were Dominik coming out with these



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