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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
02-05-2007, 09:09 PM   #1

Curtain rods


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining
room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted
on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain
rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his
new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
>>set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
>>days
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their
calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!



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Mags's Avatar
Global Moderator
 
Cats owned: NA
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South-West,UK
Posts: 37,618
02-05-2007, 09:14 PM   #2

Re: Curtain rods


...brilliant Elaine!!



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alexgirl73's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 lovely boys and a beautiful girl
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Telford UK
Posts: 10,652
02-05-2007, 09:15 PM   #3

Re: Curtain rods


Revenge is sweet! Loved that one



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Fran's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 21,296
02-05-2007, 09:17 PM   #4

Re: Curtain rods






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dandysmom's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Leia: blue torbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington, DC, USA
Posts: 31,378
02-05-2007, 09:24 PM   #5

Re: Curtain rods


Utterly brilliant!!!!



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Jac Jac is offline
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: Raggie and BSH
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 11,575
02-05-2007, 09:45 PM   #6

Re: Curtain rods


I love it.



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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
02-05-2007, 10:05 PM   #7

Re: Curtain rods


B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day



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Fran's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: DSH/Siamese/Orientals
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 21,296
02-05-2007, 10:08 PM   #8

Re: Curtain rods


Quote:
Originally Posted by yola
B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day






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Elaine's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 2 moggies
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 15,256
02-05-2007, 10:09 PM   #9

Re: Curtain rods


Quote:
Originally Posted by yola
B. brilliant!!! I've read this one before too, and hold it in reserve as I'm pretty certain I'll need a tactic like that one day




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yola's Avatar
Catsey Veteran
 
Cats owned: 1 Persian and one b/w moo-cat mog
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,771
02-05-2007, 10:13 PM   #10

Re: Curtain rods


Yes, harsh but fair ladies.



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