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2 JokesA couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things, so they decide to go to the doctor for a Check-up. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night,while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen" he replies. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it." He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast? A sad tale,, A guy goes to Glasgow City Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Have you been in the armed services?" "Yes"he says "I was in the Falklands for three years." The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks"Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off." The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 AM." The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM? " "This is a council job" the interviewer replies."For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in for that."
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I liked them but there again I'm sick  |
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PMSL!! Especially the last one! |
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Brilliant!!! The 2nd one especially, is excellent |
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