Our confusing language.....

[Kim]

Following on from Alex's thread about her new 'pen' reminded me of an email I received from my brother a few weeks ago about our confusing English language!.......

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present..
8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise Belgium!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither >from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible..



No wonder foreign students have such a difficult time with our language!!

[Kay]

That is brilliant and yes we are very confusing.

[dandysmom]

It has always boggled my mind how people learn English as a second language ... and the idioms!!!

[angieh]

I enjoyed your list Kim. When I started learning Italian, I though how sensible English is - you don't have to learn the gender of a chair or a table or a pen. At one point, I thought that may have originated in laziness but I am now absolutely sure it's just plain sensible. (Well apart from all those words listed above!)

Just learned this week that the bosom, il petto, is masculine! - Guess it may also mean the chest.

[babycakes]

That was very goog Kim, amazing too how you can just read it without too much confusion over what words needs to be said where

[dandysmom]

Originally Posted by babycakes

That was very goog Kim, amazing too how you can just read it without too much confusion over what words needs to be said where

That's because we're native born speakers, picked it up at our mum's knee, so to speak. Another thing that boggles my mind is how the same word is pronounced differently in context. You would never refer to a DEEfense attorney, but it's that way in football; same with an offENSE against humanity, but an OFFense in sports.... weird .....

[alexgirl73]

lol, brilliant post Kim!

[Elaine]

Brilliant.

[CathyW]

got a good mind to send that to a dutch friend LOL

[Kim]

Glad you like it, I thought it was very clever!