how do you when you should stop trying (sens)

audweb · 23-01-2011, 02:55 PM

I've just had to take my handsome boy oban to the emergency vet, and he's now being kept in. She offered me two choice, put him down, or give it a shot, but she can't promise me anything.

we've been in this situation before, a few months ago when he was diagnosed with diabetes, and he pulled through (he was soo ill). Now it seems like his diabetes is flaring up again, but she's concerned that there is something else wrong that causes the flare ups to be that bad. He literally changed from lively/normal last night to ill this morning. It's not good.

I told her to go for it and try and save him. I'm wondering though when will I know to let go? Am I doing the right thing?My head is a mess! Any advice/thoughts?

Phoenix · 23-01-2011, 04:28 PM

Personally I would stop trying if my cat was in pain and not enjoying life any more. Say for example with dear old Beauty, when we had her I knew she'd had enough when she started flinching away from human contact, where as before she was ill she'd been a little bit timid but people she knew well she was OK with.

I do hope Oban gets better, good luck with finding out what's wrong.

angieh · 23-01-2011, 04:30 PM

I am so sorry that oban is ill. It is a very hard decision for anyone to have to make. All I can offer really is be strong for oban and do what you believe is in his best interest. ((((HUGS))))

Mags · 23-01-2011, 04:58 PM

So sorry that Oban is so ill

First, I think you should be guided by your own vet ........ try to find out what options there are to improve his quality of life at present.

You will know when the time is right to let your lovely boy go, cats have a canny way (by look or mannerism) which will convey to you that they have had enough. You get the overwhelming feeling that you have to put them first by releasing them from their suffering. That indeed is the kindest gift you can give him.

I do hope you still have some quality time left with him, I suggest you talk to him, cuddle him, be strong for him ....... and be brave. (((hugs)))

dandysmom · 23-01-2011, 05:35 PM

I can't add a thing to Mags' wise advice.... (((hugs)))

audweb · 23-01-2011, 07:07 PM

Thanks all for your replies, it's really appreciated. I think because it came on so suddenly, i just was in a mess. When it happened the first time, it was the first we knew of his diabetes. Now though, i'm worried that this will continue to recur - I guess you're all right in letting the vet guide us through it, and see if there is something underlying that is adding complications to the diabetes.

He's the first cat I've ever owned, and the most wonderful animal, I can't bear the thought of losing him, but I know I don't want him to suffer. He's had a good life with us, we got him from a cat rescue, and he was grateful to be in a home - lots of purring, and belly rubs and enjoys our company. But he's such a gentle soul, and hid his diabetes for so long the vet said.

Thank for you for all the kind words! Currently he's in the cats hospital (vets) and she should be phoning any time now to let me know how things are. It'll be tomorrow at least before he's out (if he makes it, she said). Right now the house feels empty

lynz85 · 23-01-2011, 08:39 PM

im so sorry obans unwell, hopefully he's fighting to come home to you tomorrow! you have been given excellent advice, as said go by what your vets reccomend, and you will know when the time is right for him. i had to have my cat pts last year, and like you the illness it came on all of a sudden, we tried our best to fight for him, but i knew when i looked at him that day, poor soul had had enough and it wasnt fair anymore. i still remember everything that happened, it wasnt nice to do, but i was glad he was free from pain and i could do that for him.

Elaine · 23-01-2011, 09:52 PM

I am so sorry that you and Oban are going through this. It is a very tough call to know when enough is enough. In my experience, I have had, Winston who was in his early 20's and had CRF, he had some bad times, times when I thought that this was the time to let go but he came through them. It was only really bacause of his age and the likelyhood that there was more going on than the CRF that I finally decided enough was enough. The bad days had by that time out weighed the good.
Then last year, Eva who was 6 yrs old, suddenly became very very sick. All vets, even those at the Royal Dick vets, thought she would pull through although it was going to be a long haul. Sadly she didnt and they found more complcations and the prognosis for survival after an operation were very poor, so I had to let her go.

Each and every circumstance is different but all are devastating when the end is near. I'd also say that if you know and trust your vet, then be guided by them.
Can I ask how old Oban is? Which type of diabetes does he have? Can your vet explore any other avenues, such as what else may be going on and is it treatable etc?

My heart goes out to you at this very painful time, which ever way you go, know that you have done so with great love and respect for Oban. xxx

audweb · 23-01-2011, 10:45 PM

Thank you again for sharing your experiences. It's horrible isn't it.

Oban's 11. The vet has said that he developed diabetes because he is a middle aged and male, and thats quite common. He's never been overweight. We don't really know anything about his history.

She did say this evening that it seems like there might be an underlying infection/pancreantitis (sorry can't spell) that is causing this problem, and the diabetes complicates it, making him more ill than it would by itself. I guess we have to see if he pulls though, and then discuss what the next steps would be. He's not ancient, but he's not a spring chicken, and his diabetes will always make things more difficult I guess. I'm not ready to let go just yet, and I don't think he is either. He recovered so well the last time, i can only hope he does again. My concern will be for the future - I can't put him through this if it's going to keep recurring. I also worry that he's been unwell for a while, and hidden it from us. I think you hit the nail on the head elaine, when the bad days outweigh the good, I need to decide. Thankyou all so very much.

Shelley123 · 23-01-2011, 10:55 PM

So sorry to hear Oban is ill, i can understand why your head is in a mess.
I think that if anything at all can be done it is right to give that chance. One step at a time, if he gets through this, you can then consider with your vet options.
Hope everything goes well for him and you.

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